Testimony, Part Two

So that was part one. That's how God let me get to a place where I would fully see my need for Him, where I would realize that no person could take His place. But while my own sinfulness was bringing me down that path, God had sent workers who were telling me about Him. And this is Part Two... It comes from my memory only - my journals are silent, probably because I couldn't see Him working. It's only in hindsight that His Hand is obvious.


There were many workers who planted seeds in my heart - people I knew, and even strangers, that I remember telling me bits about this Jesus who is LORD. I thank God for all of them, for their faithful witness. God used two people in particular to challenge and inspire me before I believed, and to sharpen and lead me once I confessed His name. Part two is the story of God actively preparing my heart for His Truth and His True Love, without which I would have perished, and perished eternally.


Part Two


The first time I saw Andy Murray he was coming down the hall past my locker and I said to myself, "I want to know him." And it wasn't, as you may be thinking, because he was amazingly good-looking (which he was). It was because he was wearing a polka-dotted, polyester shirt and two-toned wing tip shoes. HE WAS DIFFERENT. He could have hung out with the in-crowd, but he chose not to. I liked that. I say this not to confess a crush, but rather because I think it speaks to God's awesome sovereignty and attention to detail. God knew He would use Andy to bring me to Himself, and He knew I would naturally be attracted to someone who was different, even in matters as superficial as fashion.


It was actually about a year between that first sighting and when we met and talked.

*An embarrassing, but amusing side note: Somewhere during that year, I went to youth group for the first time simply because I knew he would be there. Incidentally, I didn't go back(until months later) because "Christianity just wasn't for me."

So I met Andy on an English field trip. He sat across from me on the bus, and the first words out of my mouth: "What does Christianity teach about birth control?" I might have even asked about pre-marrital sex. It wouldn't surprise me. I'm sorry. All I can say is Praise God that I am a new creation in Him, and my filth has been washed whiter than snow! Well, it broke the ice, anyway, and we became friends. Often I'd sit at lunch with Andy and a few other guys of different faith backgrounds and listen to them debate. Andy had this passion in him; I could see it in his eyes and I wanted it, but I didn't want Christ. I remember hearing the gospel and saying, "I guess you either believe it or you don't. And I just don't." I respected and liked Andy, but I couldn't believe the truths he shared. God had yet to call my heart, and I had yet to lead myself to destruction.

Time passed. I roller-coastered up and down and then began my steady descent. I think it was the day I dropped out of high school that Andy looked me in the eye and asked, "Amanda, what do you believe about the Bible?" and for the first time my pride was beaten down enough for me to reflect honestly and say, "You know, I've never read it." Jessi Rattin, a good friend to me throughout high school [who would later disciple me as I began following Jesus], suggested I begin in John. So that night I started reading. I remember praying, though I forget the words. I would guess an apology of some sort. I had not been kind to my Lord. I'd been outspoken in my hatred of Him in class, especially. In my circle of friends, we were all atheists. And not in rebellion or teenage anger, really. The idea of God just seemed foolish to me, a weakness. I probably felt all the same objections as anyone who has such a deep misunderstanding of Who our Awesome God really is. Once I met Him, the one true God, I fell in love.

That meeting, that first moment of surrender, came at youth group the Sunday after I dropped out of high school. An evangelist was visiting church that day, and he told a story about a man he'd met in a prison in South America. This man had brutally killed and didn't believe anyone could ever forgive him. The evangelist shared with him Paul's words: Christ died to save sinners, of whom I am the worst. If Christ died for Paul, who had persecuted and killed many Christians before becoming one, surely He died for the Spanish prisoner, as well.

The man believed in Christ's sacrifice and accepted His forgiveness. As thanks for sharing this gift of the gospel, he asked if the evangelist would accept a gift in return. The prisoner reached under his mattress and pulled out a braided rope he'd made from his bed sheets. He'd planned to hang himself with it that night.

That rope would have been his death, but Jesus gave him hope for life. Like this man, I came to a point where I understood my need of forgiveness, my need of a hope for life. Like this man, I found it in Christ. We both had the same thirst; we both drank of the Lord Jesus Christ and were quenched.

My brother Matthew writes:

...and I no longer thirst.
posted June 13th 2005 08:48:50 AM

The Water of Life is offered freely to any and all that will accept it - without reimbursement in coin or deed. The LORD has declared that any that thirsts will be filled. As with all things, we can certainly hold GOD to His promises.

A man that is parched with thirst does not pant upon the shore of a flowing river, wondering how much such relief would cost him or what manner of tasks he must complete in order to be found worthy to drink. He all but flings himself into the rushing water so that his thirst might be quenched.

Would a man die for want of reason to repent?

Yes, indeed, I was such a Soul...

...laying prostrate upon the filthy ashes of my own wisdom, sinking into despair and emptiness - while Eternal Salvation was presented freely before me. Cursing myself for being unworthy of the Blood, and weeping to be rescued - as I had not the will to lift myself out of the darkness in which I had resided for my entire life.

Glory be to GOD that He did not leave me to me folly - but Saved me from myself, creating in me a new Spirit.

If at this very hour, you are without understanding or conviction, seek the living water that is Jesus Christ - and He will provide both in abundance.

Within the darkness of your own heart, if you know that you are without Salvation then you are standing upon the very doorstep of the Holy Manor.

If you know yourself to be ripe with the fruits of Sin, then you are within the very grasp of the Holy Spirit - take hold of this and flee from the coming judgment!

Your mercy, O Lord, reaches to the heavens;
Your faithfullness stretches to the sky.
Your righteouness is like the mighty mountains;
Your truth rolls like the ocean's tides.
Psalm 36:5-6

Thank You, my Father. Yours is the glory, the power, and the dominion forever. Amen.