A Month of Learning

Deep breath... aah... pleasant relaxation. Tonight rest surrounds me. Snow covers all outside and brings with it quiet peace. For a moment the world looks pure. Sitting in the living room earlier, I felt like I was in a snowglobe: the Christmas tree lights twinkling (to be as cliche as possible :) ) and reflecting off the ornaments and cranberries; Christmas music playing and carrying with it the encouragement of God's redemptive Plan and incorruptible Son - our inheritance; a warm cup of chai in my hands and an afghan wrapped 'round me, as I break from writing Christmas cards to take a sip. Mmmm.

What? You haven't seen that in a snowglobe? :)

As I sat writing, thinking, enjoying, my mom sorted through her slides at the kitchen table. Tiny film slides evoking memories and stories of my brother and I as babes; of her and my father dating; of her brothers and young parents on family vacations... How can she leave all this behind and start out with someone who knows nothing of her past firsthand? I don't understand it.

She has been sorting also her belongings, asking if I would like this or that, or if I think Heath would. No, mom, things mean little. We want you, and we want our family to be whole. There is an ache for things being taken, but the ache is not that they go, rather that she goes with them. The ache is that we are a family - albeit a broken, unredeemed, very imperfect one - but a family nonetheless. The ache is how much my dad loves her - more than any other man could - and how she is willing to hurt us all to please herself with something that will likely not last. But more than any of that, the ache - the deep, brutal, scathing pain - is that she forsakes her Lord and denies ever having loved Him.

But I know - I KNOW! - and I am strong because I know this - that she is in her Lord's hand, in her Father's hand, even now, and none is able to snatch her out. I know that God has saved her for His own glory, and He will preserve her for His name's sake. God is faithful - He can be nothing else. And I can only trust Him. In His timing, He will draw my mom back to Himself because He has promised to keep His own. It may not be for years - she may hurt herself and many others between now and then, but in the day of Glory, she will bow before Him, confess His name, and be counted as one of His sheep whose name was written in the Book of the Lamb Slain before time began. Praise God!

I have learned much in the past couple of months. I have been humbled and crushed, and lifted up and exalted in my dear Lord. I have been filled with joy and peace and strength that cannot be understood apart from Grace. And I have come to know my God, my Love, as I have never known Him before. And so I thank God for this trial - and I will continue to thank Him - because through it my Hope shines ever brighter, a Hope found only in the perfect Blood of Christ.

I have learned - truly - what Christian family is. I would not be standing anywhere near as strong as I am without my brothers and sisters. It seems I would not stand at all without them - though I know I would, because my Lord is faithful. I am so grateful. I think I may have been seen at my worst in recent weeks - and been loved without waver at my worst. I've been sealed in the knowing that my strength comes from God - from His Word. Nothing is more encouraging than being reminded of who He is and what He has promised. Only brethren can encourage with absolute truth.

*For His own glory, for His name's sake, God killed His Son; for that same glory He preserves His flock. He will not let them go.

*God sees our tears, our every moment; He holds us in His hand and will not leave us to struggle alone. He is our Dad.

*Christ Himself bore our sins in His own body on the cross; His stripes have healed us: "This is My body broken for you. Take this and eat it in remembrance of Me." We are redeemed with the incorruptible, precious blood of Christ - a Lamb without blemish: "This is My blood shed for you. Drink in remembrance of Me." Christ tore off the bread and handed it to His disciples. He passed the cup. When we take communion, it is Jesus, our Lord and Savior, serving us! How precious a moment as we partake of His suffering, from His hand, and are united as we partake of Him together; united in the new covenant of His Blood.

God is good, brothers and sisters! He is FAITHFUL. This life is but a moment in eternity, a vapor in the wind. His chosen are chosen, and He will glorify His name.