Will my Brother Ever be my Brother?

An interesting thing: my brother will refute my words about the deity of Christ as found in the Bible, yet he will not read the Bible. He often talks about the King James Version being the only valid version, and tonight he told me to read about Jesus in the KJV and then come talk to him. When I told him to bypass me and go to the source himself, KJV or otherwise, he said he didn't need to, and didn't want to. How does that make sense? Before leaving for the library, I opened a KJV up to Luke and said I'd be glad to hear his thoughts on Jesus after he's read what the Lord says about Himself. Will he? Only if God makes him.

The frustrating thing with Heath is that he is so set in his opinions, yet they're based only on his own imaginings. He has read the Bible in the past, but he hasn't recently. There is a hatred of the word in him, a hatred of the truth. He sees it as lies and foolishness. This, God has said it would be of unbelievers.

At times it feels as though I am living with Satan, I have said this before. There is a living, breathing, prowling creature in my home looking to make me stumble, to make me doubt, to make me curse my Savior and turn my back on Him. The blessing is that he is quick to point out my sins, which my deceitful heart might otherwise keep me from seeing. Perhaps the Lord may use even my confessions as seeds planted. Lord transform my heart, and let my lips praise You to him for any goodness in me. Let my lips confess that the wickedness is my sin, not Yours. Still, Father, all will be bitterness and folly to him unless You regenerate his heart and give him new eyes to SEE. Oh, I pray for his salvation, Jesus. I am desperate for it. May I have the courage to pray for Thy will, and not my own. Be glorified. In Christ's name, Amen.

Later I will ask him if he'd like us both to read the gospel in the KJV and then talk about it together. At least offer even if he spits me off as usual. Father, forgive me for letting my anger get in the way - I didn't even think to ask him earlier. Loathe this sinful corpse!

Goodbye reader. I cannot type repentance. Pray for me. I've yet to comprehend the depth of my sinfulness. Pray that I would remember whence I came to my Savior, and remember the new life and breath that I found in Him that first night as His child. Pray that I would remember my first love and return to Him. But I must know my brokenness, and I don't fully. LORD, continue to show me my wickedness that I might more fully comprehend the depth of your grace and mercy, not just in my mind, but in my heart and soul. Thank you