How could I NOT want this??

Excerpted from "Living out Trust" by Luke Patin:

It is vital to understand the nature of genuine romance that is justified by truth. This romance absolutely must promote trust.

I admit that I believe God's concern is not that everyone get married. God is concerned with love and unity in the Body as well as the advancement of the Kingdom. With that in mind, if a brother has grown to know and trust a sister in Christ, he may think it useful to offer himself to her as a husband. This is with the awareness that she may refuse him if she thinks it more profitable to continue single. If she accepts, however, then he has offered himself unconditionally. He has a new commitment! The new commitment is one that will make them one flesh. They will continue to serve God together as a unit.

The only reason Paul the Apostle disliked the idea of Christians getting married (1 Cor 7) was the distraction. Romance requires constant attention to preserve the relationship! It must have attention because that is what romance is! It makes two into...one! If two people aren't careful, the many responsibilities to preserve function and romance in marriage can make it impossible to invest in the Body of Christ.

Thus, the whole point is that true romance is meant to give one another trust and security so that God may be the true focus! Otherwise, "focusing on God" just isn't possible in a real way. There is usually just plain too much maintenance.

...[I]n a total commitment, romance becomes powerful to unite in trust rather than confuse in fear. A woman once told me that she had become paranoid of men's romantic intentions with her because they offered nothing to make them worth accepting! They just made her afraid of losing what she had invested in the man. They made her afraid of losing months or years of her life to a man who led her to nowhere. This, brothers, is not love. This, sisters, is not real romance.

Friends, we are capable of loving like God does--without fear. We will fail in our responsibilities, but the nature of love itself cannot be to blame! When carried out simultaneously with truth, love should be perfect! Well-intentioned love ought not destroy people!

[...]

I admit that I think everyone saying, "Take romance slowly. Don't get tied down too quickly," is complete nonsense. Actually, I think that once a man has willed himself to love and secure a woman no matter what [(offered her marriage)] (and she has accepted), then I believe romance should be swift and powerful. It should create a passion and security so complete that it will weld two people into a fully trusting relationship centered around their two greatest commitments--Christ and each other.

They have Christ to gain by being instruments to refine and perfect one another in love and truth. Once the commitment is openly declared--with the accountability which is marriage-- two true lovers can accept the joy of consummation and unity with nothing to lose. Everything physical which we set up "boundaries" for becomes rather only an instrument to strengthen a true bond--to please one another with abandon.

I think romance ought to be an explosion that loudly, possessively declares,

"BY GOD'S GRACE I WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE I AM TO UNITE WITH---EVER!!! I DELIGHT IN YOU, AND YOU ARE SPECIAL TO ME FOR AS LONG AS WE LIVE!!! LET NOTHING STAND IN THE WAY!!! I CHOSE YOU, AND I AM YOURS!!!"

That is a declaration I desire to make. That is a romance that can only make the Christian Army more powerful. Never will I offer a weak, insecure romance to a woman. If I am to offer romance, I will offer it recklessly--limitlessly. She will know she has been chosen. She will know that I have willed to love her. She will know that the perfect love of God has come full circle to create a love untainted by fear.

I will not love her perfectly, but the commitment--the unity--which the love stands on will have been burned into the very fabric of our souls. I will be hers as long as we serve God on this earth. She will know that when I ask her to single me out apart from all other men then I am offering all that I am--permanently. If she sees the power of Christ's love for the Church in me, then she will have nothing to fear--nothing to lose.

She will have found...true love.

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emphasis added by blogger