Grace upon grace

So it's been a while... that seems to be a theme with this blog of late. What a faithful beloved you must be - still checking, not losing hope just yet. :)

It is half past midnight; I sat down at the keyboard after finishing the more-extensive-than-expected preparation of a dish called "Saray Katmeri." Crepes layered with a spinach filling and gruyere cheese. They now rest in the freezer, ready to be baked on Wednesday.

That evening I am presenting - as much as discovered in the two weeks and two days of my visit - Turkey! samplings of my favorite foods included.

The weeks since I arrived back Stateside have been quite eventful - well, busy, at least. Eventful connotates happenings extra-ordinary; perhaps that is somewhat accurate, but moreso I've simply re-entered the schedule of school and work and visitations (I just don't have time for spontaneous get-togethers. Bumping into a friend at the grocery store is pretty much the extent of unscheduled interactions) ... and little sleep. :) Blogging in the middle of the night doesn't help, I know, but I've gone too long without it - must post something.

One thing to share before I head up to my room: Last Sunday I asked my church to pray for patience for me. I was met with smirking, groans (in jest), laughter as if to say, "Oh, watch out with that one..." You know the old cliche among Christians that you never pray for patience because you may well be answered with a good schooling - God saying, "Here, this'll make ya learn to be patient," and then your situation suddenly worsens times ten and you huddle in a ball and rock yourself or something.

Well, ok. First of all, I loathe Christian cliches like that. Why do we make light of our stubbornness? If we pursue holiness, our life is going to be a challenge each step - we grow as we fight and soldier on in the Spirit's power. If we're unwilling to face that, we ought to fall before our Savior who faced far more than we have to and repent, not smirk, patronize, and discourage those who ask the Father's help in stepping forward.

The awesome answer to the initial disappointment of my requested prayer, however, was that very help which my Father gave so generously. Indeed, my situation worsened significantly. The frustration at school multiplied, intensified, and metastisized to the deli. My prayer as I drove to school Monday morning had focused on what I might learn from this all - that I didn't want to come through this simply surviving, having a torturous time of it, and giving a testimony of anger and resentment. I wanted to grow - to somehow be more like my Lord at the end of the day. I needed His patience, His long-suffering. I knew at times I had come before Him as thick-brained and unlearning as any people I might have to deal with... He had loved me through it, waiting and teaching at my pace. How could I be so short if my true desire was to be like Him? I couldn't.

It's so interesting - so simple, really - how God enables us to be long-suffering: He gives us joy! Last week I had every worldly reason to be frustrated and furious and want to give up on classmates and coworkers and yell at everybody (and that's pretty huge because it takes A LOT for me to get there. A lot.), but I was full of such joy like nothing I'd ever experienced. My focus was on Beauty - my Jesus and my God's goodness and the smallness of this present moment in the scope of eternity - and I easily bore all else around me. Because He was bearing it, of course!

We can persevere so long as we remember why we're persevering - what we're persevering toward, and the Beautiful Lord whose face shines there. I guess the major thought from all I learned last week is that a prayer for patience is a prayer to live this situation as Christ would - in the strength and joy of the Father. And if I am willing to suffer whatever is set before me and am willing to learn from it and be thankful for it, He will meet that willingness with Himself: I will be given the Father's strength and joy as Christ had when He met His life's sufferings. We partake of them together, and are further united in doing so. What a privilege.

Thank You, Father, for gracing us so abundantly in the name of Your Son.
Amen.