Have you ever looked at your life and wondered at the abundance of goodness God has lavished and just continues to lavish?

I know that sentence is redundant.

I will be starting a new life of being one with a man in less than six weeks. And not just any man; not the first to come along; not the last resort; not a mediocre, "he will suffice" man... but a man hand-picked by the Sovereign God of the universe. The man I was designed for by a Creator with infinite wisdom. Derek is truly my heart, mind, body, and spirit mate: my soul mate. I love him with a depth and tenderness and fierceness and loyalty that I can't even put words to adequately except maybe to say that among the people of this earth, I am entirely his and no other's.

September 1st, 2007 will be the day of the gladness of my heart. Praise God.

This blog seems to be coming to an end. Or at least a dormancy. Almost 2 1/2 years!

Derek and I have placed an offer on a house; we may hear back today if they've accepted it or not. I have the day off work (as well as Monday), and am so grateful for a long weekend. As I write, Derek is in his apartment in Lowell, sleeping finally after a 20-hour stretch of night shift at the hospital, then helping his friend roof a house during the day. The roof was an exit north of my house, so he came by afterward to say hello before going home to crash.

I was out for a run, and rounded the corner to see his car looking for me. I hope I am always so glad to see him coming home. I want to choose to be. We raced back to the house (he took the long way). It was a close finish. :)

I am still amazed to see the man I prayed for standing in front of me. The more we know each other, the more we see how perfectly we are made for one another; the more I wonder how much there is to discover.

In an hour I will leave and go make breakfast either with him or for him if he's still sleeping. Then we are heading to the ocean. The forecast is in the mid-90's: perfect for cold New England waters. The afternoon's business: registering for our shower/wedding gifts; getting wedding bands; looking at suits. Tonight I am going to a women's fellowship teaching on Titus 2. My friend Jenn is sharing the message - calling the older women to teach the younger; the younger to be teachable by the older. We are almost all both older and younger in relations to someone.

It comes at a neat time because I have just recently begun meeting with a foursome of two older women and myself with another girl my age (she is married with a baby); on the other side, God has brought two younger girls that I'll be meeting with soon. Jan and Jenn are teaching Rachel and I about being godly wives; I will be teaching my girls about being a godly single woman.

God is so gracious. We cry out to God with our voices - to God with our voices. And He gives ear to us. (psalm 77:1)

Wandering thoughts inspired by O'Brien's commentary on Ephesians...

He writes of marriage as a pledge of God's purposes for the unity of the cosmos...

pledge: n. something delivered as security for the fulfillment of a promise...

Marriage as God's visible promise to us of how He will unite the two realms - heavenlies and earthly things (Christ and Church; husband and wife)

So we look at marriage and see how God intends to unite all in Himself...

marriage: premonition (?) ...foresight... insight... into this coming unity in the end

marriage: coming unity as Jonah in the fish: Jesus' death and resurrection

Any thoughts on this?

what is the application of this?

Wedding Plans

So WOW - it has been a busy recent! Thankfully, wedding arrangements are coming together well and are almost complete (at least the major things). Our wedding day will be a neat example of the church truly working as a body - so many of the brethren have offered their gifts and time.

We're having the ceremony at a larger church so that everyone who would like to come, may. AND it sweetly has a center-aisle; I wouldn't have objected to a side one, obviously, but I like that it will be traditional this way. Just a bonus.

My grandmother (mom's mom) is going to make my dress. I brought her the pattern yesterday when we went to visit, and she is really glad to have a part this way. I'm excited, too - it will be special. We'll start that process at the end of May. It's so good to have family and friends involved in the details! So joyful.

A friend from church will make the cake for us (her husband volunteered her. :) I'll ask her about it today.

Beautifully simple and elegant is the feel we're going for. Nothing extravagant or distracting.

My mom will take the photographs, and we'll hire an assistant for her (possibly a student from the Art Institute) . I'm excited to have her be there for those moments - and also because I am completely comfortable with her. And she is a really beautiful photographer.

Wayne will hopefully drive us in his antique car. He hasn't found out yet if work will want to send him on assignment then, or if he will be home. I pray he is home. I can't imagine him not being at my wedding. The Lord's will be done.

Bridal Party...
My bridesmaids: Karissa is my Maid of Honor (yay!); Derek's two sisters: Sarah (20) and Nicole (25); sister-in-law Jessica (31); my two sisters Hannah (14) and Kari-Lynn (23).
Groomsmen: Derek's brother Jon is his best man (Jessica's husband); our good friend from church Evan (28?); my brother Heath (25); D's cousing Mike (30-something); friend from growing up Billy (25); and possibly cousin Matty (30-something).

We're having fun arranging seating plans - the goal is to mingle both families, as well as believers and unbelievers. We're not serving alcohol because we both have family members that will get out of control, so we want to take the opportunity to have a party that's fun without having to be drinking. Derek and I can easily dance without any intoxication - and we have friends and family that dance feely, too - so hopefully those that would normally need a relaxant will let their guards down and be silly without it.

D's cousin Mike is having one of his guys DJ for us - and he'll step in himself just because he loves doing it. I'm so looking forward to hearing the fun stories and whatever words shared from our guests. We'll probably watch the video years down the road and laugh our heads off. :)

We've booked a hall. Originally we were going to rent an Elk's Club function room and coordinate the food and servers and linen/table setting rentals... but I was frazzled and totally stressing about it, so we decided it would be worth the extra money to not have to worry about it at all. So the hall is taking care of all that, and the charge is far below the others we'd looked at.

So really what's left is to find bridesmaids' dresses, make invitations, register for house stuff, figure out centerpieces for the tables... Finish the seating plan (as much as it can be finished until everyone RSVP's). Plan and book our honeymoon. And find a home. That is a fun process. We were supposed to go look at a handful yesterday with our realator, but she had a death in the family. So we'll go next Saturday. We have a list to look at that are in the area, in our price range, and have the basics we're looking for. The Lord will provide exactly what we need. So we're having fun discovering what that is.

I'm marrying a sweetheart - sometimes I just can't even believe I get to marry him. :) It's so good. Thank You, Lord.

I'm Getting Married! :D

We went for a hike in the White Mountains today. At the end of the trail I stood enjoying the view of snowy peaks beyond the frozen pond we had walked out onto. Derek was behind me, and whispered, "Amanda B____;" I turned around, and he was on his knees.

We're looking at the last weekend in August or first of September. Can you even believe it? What a gift to my heart and life. I can only grin and thank my Father who has provided beyond what I ever could have asked or hoped for in giving me my Derek. Amazing grace; amazing Love. :)

Amazing God.

a moment's passing recollections and reflections before I get dressed for church...

Hannie and Wen left early this morning for their annual week of skiing vacation -- Han and I bundled up and packed their equipment and bags and coolers into the back of the car before they left. It will be a quiet week without them - a respite at first, and then Marge and I will miss the joking and laughing. It will be a week of intentionally spending more time with Marge so she doesn't get too lonely. Likely Derek will come make dinner with us - he is good at teasing the same way Wendy is, and Marge needs that.

I've been journalling with pen and notebook for the past few months moreso than typing - at some point I hope to share excerpts - notebooks travel far easier than this ol' computer, and so I haven't used it much.

I'm working full time for the podiatrist I interned with now. I love it - our patients are dear to my heart, and truly I enjoy the two doctors and the other office women. God is using me there, subtly and slowly, and I am praying for moved hearts. The chief doctor is Catholic - admittedly ritualistically so (there is little reverence, save for the clergy (none evident for God Himself); no loving worship). Annette and Stacy are Catholic, as well. Betty, I'm not sure of. We have a couple believing patients that I know of.

My mom is coming to meet my new church family on March 11th. God continues to break her down, gently and lovingly. I'm so thankful to be there to love her through it and speak of His goodness.

Derek and I have a shared heart for our families - the Lord has just been so GOOD in this.

We both are being refined and refined - purified separately and together. God is so patient and merciful in picking us back up and strengthening us to start again. I always wondered what it would be like to have a partner in the walk... encouraging and challenging each other; praying and studying and sharing together -- WOW; and it's not even daily, yet.

Wayne continues in Saudi. Two more months. I am missing him. Much love from other people, and "parents" who've adopted D and I at our church, but I miss my Dad. He is being used there, though. Pretty awesome testimonies.

Perhaps more later...

Being at my faithful home church was emotional for me today. I had planned on going to Calvary with Derek, and halfway there realized I needed to be with my family. So I drove the rest of the way to let D know I wouldn't be staying and then headed to Faith.

I realized today that I am at a crossroads and to follow God is to lay my life down and follow Derek. Not this instant; we are not married. But it is coming, and as I worshiped my God with praise and thanksgiving, part of me mourned the life I will lay down.

So today I treasured my time with those who have raised me in the faith. And yet as I stood to sing, I missed the voice I now love singing beside me. I suddenly understood: my belonging has become elsewhere. That is, where he is, I belong there with him.