Nervous Tick-ing of the keyboard as I wait...

One final down, one to go.

This morning I took the final test of my Anatomy and Physiology class - 98%. Satisfaction. So close to %100 - but oh, well. My 4.0 is sealed, which definitely feels nice.

At 11:30am (in about 35 minutes; actually, exactly 35 minutes...) I will see the first patient of my clinical final. Our "patients" are instructors who come to our simulated medical office and evaluate us as we evaluate them. They are looking for professionalism, competency, and quality of care throughout the interaction. The recorded progress notes will then be critiqued by my clinical instructor.

I have a second patient at 12:00pm. She is the Assistant Director of the school.

25 minutes to go.

Perfect love...

...casts out all fear.

It was a good weekend.

Persevering in that which is unseen, we see this

Today the clouds finally gave way after about two weeks of dreariness and rain which flooded the region as it hadn't been flooded in seventy years. School cancelled for the week; so enjoyable, the spare time.

I love home life. It is simple, and gives such satisfaction. This morning I drove home from my mom's house (we spend Wednesday nights together after prayer meeting), pinned up my shower-wet hair, and sauteed the chicken I'd rested in marinade the day before. Cooked and cooled, it mixed into a salad of greens, colorful peppers sweet and hot, carrots, mushrooms, onions, cucumbers, walnuts, and dried cherries. So fresh and delicious and perfectly suited to a hot, sunny day.

Mid-morning I headed into the garage to figure out the lawnmower - after so much rain the grass had junglified and brought to mind the story of "The Indian in the Cupboard." What a treat to find a lawnmower that functions without tricks! The ones my family had always came from the dump and inevitably had some MickeyMousing going on to start it or keep it going... Or else they were just temperamental and would mow when they were so inclined. :)

So I mowed and raked and weeded a little with only one glitch, really - the dogs escaped the gate; but Daisy turned back at the sound of "Cookie," and Jake doesn't have it in him to run away solo. He's definitely the brains, but Daisy carries all the gumption. It's a good thing, too, because while I don't love the animals I do love Marge, and she would have been devastated to lose them.

My dear sister in Christ called just after noon and we chatted and prayed together. What a sweet, loving heart - such an encouragement to me and many others. She was meeting with her friend Jenny this afternoon; been sharing her faith little by little as they've grown closer and today she invited her over with the intent of fully presenting the gospel. Cindi's heart just beems with the desire for her loved ones to know how He loves - I so look forward to hearing about the conversation.

I closed the deli tonight with my friend and brother in Christ, Curtis - he has finished his first year of art school and so is back to working week nights. :) Good to have you around again, bro.

We went for a walk after work to a waterfall out in the woods where the water is usually just on the rough side of mild in most parts, but after the recent weather, it rages. And the waterline on the rocks spake of even higher waters earlier in the week. Quite amazing: it's just water flowing, but there is such power.

With parting clouds comes visibility of stars again, also. I hadn't realized how much I've missed them.

There are two weeks left to this current term at school, and then I will be half-way through the academic portion of my training. At the finish of next week - Memorial Day weekend- I head to Chicago to visit my brother Luke and meet his family for his little brother's graduation.

My family needs prayer - repentance and newness of life for all. Restoration.

My brother in the faith, Andy, is getting married, and he and his wife are looking for jobs and an apartment in the area so they can grow in and minister to our home church here. It would be so awesome to have Beth and him nearby. So awesome.

Tonight I gave Sharon my first Bible. Continue to hold her up in prayer.

There is a change in my brother Heath (my biological brother who is not a believer) that I can't quite articulate - keep him in prayer, also.

I have a new co-worker named Jason whom I met Tuesday night - oy. He is like so many of the men I deal with over the counter - the last thing I want to deal with behind the counter. But I did share my faith with him, and I suppose if an interest in me gives opportunity for an interest in my God, then I shall submit to it and pray for God's effectual grace to break and reconcile his heart.

Please pray also for Paul, a brand new believer at my church - he was given saving grace on Sunday, and he is being discipled right away which is so good.

One of the men at my church saw two of the prisoners he ministers to accept the Lord this week, as well. These are three lives among many others across the globe that are Living for the first time - pray they grow deeply and firmly in the Rock of their salvation. It is likely a rough and rocky road ahead - but it heads straight for the hilltops. :) I forget who penned that.

May all we brethren persevere unto That Day. Praise God: for His name's sake, He will make sure we do!

Amen.

Here am I

One of the women I work with, Sharon, asked me for a Bible Tuesday night. Please pray for her as she opens God's Word - that if He wills, she would understand the truth and grace and life found there, and be redeemed by the Blood of Christ. Also pray that she would be able to not work on Sunday mornings so that she may come to church.

I smile - well, obviously because this is awesome - but also because she is one of the ones I've been praying for patience with. A transformation unto godliness in her would be a MAJOR testimony to a LOT of people.

Last night I gave the presentation on my trip to Turkey before my church body - and my mom, dad, brother, grandparents, and little cousin came, also. SO GOOD.

I'm done being on the computer, so I'll paste in here a brief bit I wrote my friend Charlie about it, and write more another time. Maybe in an hour or so, even. I'm at school with no specific assignments and already prepared for my later exam, so I'm blogging... but now I'm going to go research common symptoms patients go to a medical office complaining of, and common medical emergencies and how they're triaged (placed in order of urgency to be seen).

on last night:

I didn't get to talk to my grandparents afterward (they scooted out), but they sat with Jack and Joy, converted Catholics who joined our fellowship a couple years ago (my grandparents are Catholic). Joy was a nun for five years! She said they talked to my gp's about their move from the C church to this one.

So yesterday, to get ready for the night, I left school after my first class and spent the day cooking! What fun, and a nice break from the usual routine.

I didn't have a speech planned - I'd thought about writing one a few times, but never got anywhere. I did have a slide show (nothing fancy) that played and I talked about some of the pictures, told other stories... I told the story that I wrote on my blog and it had quite the impact. Even my brother's face was completely serious. ... it was SO GOOD. Shared what the missionaries I'd met said they wanted the believers here to know; what I saw in the lives of the Turks I met; why Turkey needs Christians willing to live there...

My family talked with my church family, and I could tell my dad and brother just really enjoyed the fellowship. During the presentation, Dad was gently smiling the whole time I spoke. So encouraging.

My brother said afterward, "When you were up there, I could see the little Amanda again." The way I was when I was little. Myself, I guess. I am becoming more myself all the time - it's really awesome. Freedom in the joy of the Lord to be who He made me to be.

I love my brother... Keep praying for him. He saw something different in the faith last night. He saw my heart and heard truth and of the vast difference between our God and the god of Islam. And he tried to stump me with a question that I wasn't stumped by. :)

My grandparents heard of nominal Muslims with their traditions and duty-driven worship that is so much like their own Catholicism. What's so cool is that the things that I did know I wanted to say, but didn't know how to say them so that they would be relatable to any unbelievers - well, the words were there.

I can never remember everything that's been said after I give a presentation or share a testimony or whatnot. It's cool because the Spirit speaks - the ONLY reason I can approach eloquence and entertainment :) (left to my own strength I would ramble and stumble over words and be quite boring.. hahaha.. but it's true!) - but then I have only vague recollections of what I talked about. Now that that is complete, though, I should be able to write about the trip. I think I'd been stopped from writing so I wouldn't have my own words to fall back on when speaking. If you're reading this and you were there last night, maybe you could comment on what you learned from the presentation - what stood out most to you. That would be helpful.

I love my church family. What lovely, encouraging, open-hearted people. And I love knowing my calling. I am a missionary: right now, here in NH; when the command comes, out there, and I will be so glad in going.

Grace upon grace

So it's been a while... that seems to be a theme with this blog of late. What a faithful beloved you must be - still checking, not losing hope just yet. :)

It is half past midnight; I sat down at the keyboard after finishing the more-extensive-than-expected preparation of a dish called "Saray Katmeri." Crepes layered with a spinach filling and gruyere cheese. They now rest in the freezer, ready to be baked on Wednesday.

That evening I am presenting - as much as discovered in the two weeks and two days of my visit - Turkey! samplings of my favorite foods included.

The weeks since I arrived back Stateside have been quite eventful - well, busy, at least. Eventful connotates happenings extra-ordinary; perhaps that is somewhat accurate, but moreso I've simply re-entered the schedule of school and work and visitations (I just don't have time for spontaneous get-togethers. Bumping into a friend at the grocery store is pretty much the extent of unscheduled interactions) ... and little sleep. :) Blogging in the middle of the night doesn't help, I know, but I've gone too long without it - must post something.

One thing to share before I head up to my room: Last Sunday I asked my church to pray for patience for me. I was met with smirking, groans (in jest), laughter as if to say, "Oh, watch out with that one..." You know the old cliche among Christians that you never pray for patience because you may well be answered with a good schooling - God saying, "Here, this'll make ya learn to be patient," and then your situation suddenly worsens times ten and you huddle in a ball and rock yourself or something.

Well, ok. First of all, I loathe Christian cliches like that. Why do we make light of our stubbornness? If we pursue holiness, our life is going to be a challenge each step - we grow as we fight and soldier on in the Spirit's power. If we're unwilling to face that, we ought to fall before our Savior who faced far more than we have to and repent, not smirk, patronize, and discourage those who ask the Father's help in stepping forward.

The awesome answer to the initial disappointment of my requested prayer, however, was that very help which my Father gave so generously. Indeed, my situation worsened significantly. The frustration at school multiplied, intensified, and metastisized to the deli. My prayer as I drove to school Monday morning had focused on what I might learn from this all - that I didn't want to come through this simply surviving, having a torturous time of it, and giving a testimony of anger and resentment. I wanted to grow - to somehow be more like my Lord at the end of the day. I needed His patience, His long-suffering. I knew at times I had come before Him as thick-brained and unlearning as any people I might have to deal with... He had loved me through it, waiting and teaching at my pace. How could I be so short if my true desire was to be like Him? I couldn't.

It's so interesting - so simple, really - how God enables us to be long-suffering: He gives us joy! Last week I had every worldly reason to be frustrated and furious and want to give up on classmates and coworkers and yell at everybody (and that's pretty huge because it takes A LOT for me to get there. A lot.), but I was full of such joy like nothing I'd ever experienced. My focus was on Beauty - my Jesus and my God's goodness and the smallness of this present moment in the scope of eternity - and I easily bore all else around me. Because He was bearing it, of course!

We can persevere so long as we remember why we're persevering - what we're persevering toward, and the Beautiful Lord whose face shines there. I guess the major thought from all I learned last week is that a prayer for patience is a prayer to live this situation as Christ would - in the strength and joy of the Father. And if I am willing to suffer whatever is set before me and am willing to learn from it and be thankful for it, He will meet that willingness with Himself: I will be given the Father's strength and joy as Christ had when He met His life's sufferings. We partake of them together, and are further united in doing so. What a privilege.

Thank You, Father, for gracing us so abundantly in the name of Your Son.
Amen.