I acidentally met my dad's girlfriend yesterday, and she is so nice I almost couldn't believe it. Except that she was very real - not an artificial niceness. Just genuinely sweet. I had gone by my dad's house to leave some cookies and check for any mail, and as I opened the door (assuming Dad and Heath were both at work) I heard, "Hello" - a woman's voice welcoming me, though she was surprised to see it was me she welcomed, having expected my father. I stepped into the kitchen and saw Barb at the stove stirring a pot of soup. She is tall, like my dad. She wore fitted pants tucked in at the bottom to feminine cowboy boots with a pretty sweater and silver jewelry - she is stylish in an entirely different way than my mother. Her smile is warm and sincere.

We chatted for a few minutes - my dad was outside still. I knew they had returned the day before from a trip to South Carolina where Dad met her family for the first time. They were on their way up north for the weekend to go to a fair, staying at a cabin where they had agreed to split and stack wood in exchange for housing. Interesting. So she doesn't mind working hard. My dad was actually home for a lunch break (she was on her lunch break from work, also), and was taking off another weekend. Is this a permanent change, I wonder? Has he finally realized that beloveds must be a priority?

My brother doesn't like her. But then, he doesn't usually like anyone. Except we both like Mom's boyfriend - or what she has said about him. Neither of us have spent any significant time with him. But he is authentic, as well, and effective in confronting things that when anyone else has confronted her she has just lashed out. But she takes Rich's correction to heart and is genuinely changing for the better.

I never would have thought I'd see my parents with other halves and be ok with it, let alone encouraged by the relationships. Life isn't ideal. But I see that it is good. God's orchestration humbles me again and again as He continuously unveils beautiful goodness where I could only predict rubble.

I am learning to expect to see this in my own journey, in my own relationships and path-steps. I so want Him to unveil beautiful goodness with every onward venture. I see it in my friends' lives. I know He is doing this in my life, too - are my eyes not open? or is it just an inbetween-stones moment... still waiting to see where the next one will be placed and what goodness I will find when it is there and I am standing on it? There is goodness here in this in-between, as well. My Lord is here! There is excitement here, and wonder. There is joy all around me that I am so thankful to be part of.

It's just strange... I am close to God - we are in communion with each other. I simply live with as awareness of Him, and enjoy His presence; enjoy sharing my thoughts and singing for Him and asking Him questions... Why the -- I don't know how to describe it. I so often ask God to be enough for me. Why does it feel like He isn't? Not that He is incomplete or lacking in any way - that's not what I mean. There is just always remaining this nagging feeling that there's something more waiting... but I don't know what it is. I don't want to seek trial fillers to figure it out - I know they would fail and the whole process be distracting. Why can I be right with God, live with wonderful family, have girlfriends and guy friends - nearby even! - see my family coming closer to being right with God and actually enjoying each other's company, ... and still feel like something's just missing?

oy. prayer needed and appreciated.