Quote from Martin Luther

"Let the wife make the husband glad to come home,

and let him make her sorry to see him leave."

Say hello on my guest map!

If you click on the little globe button to the right (where it says "Check this out!") you can put a little figure of yourself on a world map with a hello message! Then I (and you) can see where people are visiting from. So far I'm the only one on the map - please don't leave me all alone. :)

To all who comment - thank you so much for your encouraging words. I really am blessed by you. And thank you all for visiting.

A sister Christian,
Amanda

Brotherly Love as only children of God can Know

This past weekend I learned first-hand what it is to trust a brother fully and to want to love him in a way that allows him to best serve the Kingdom of God. There is a HUGE freedom in this trust.

The basis of our understanding and relationship with each other is that we are brother and sister in the Lord and will remain that eternally. Only if my brother offers me his hand in marriage will romance enter the picture. Until then, we are friends and fellow servants of Christ. It's not a lesser relationship or a testing ground for future possibilities of romance. It is what it is: a gift and a responsibility to love with pure hearts, seeking to spur each other on toward Christ. The focus is on Him. There is an understanding that neither person has ulterior motives for getting to know the other. I am not trying to make him like me, or constantly viewing him with the thought, "hmmm, would I want to marry this man?" Rather, I want to know his heart as God's child and how I may encourage him on in his faith and life. I want to be challenged and encouraged by him, as well - to draw each other closer to God. It is worth investing in the relationship, and continuing to invest even if it becomes clear that brother and sister is the "only" bond we will share.

In relationships without this understanding of brotherly love, it seems either the man or the woman gives up on it if it doesn't move beyond a friendship. The message given and received is that a male/female friendship isn't worth investing in. This way of thinking is so "off" from Scripture. The reasoning is that "it's not going anywhere," but the Bible is clear that in Heaven joint heirs and family is what we'll be! These brother/sister relationships are eternal!

Not only is the relationship eternal, but the fruits of the relationship are of eternal consequence. Much is gained for the Kingdom when two people submit their romantic feelings to the Lord and focus on being a brother or sister instead of a boyfriend or girlfriend.

I want to try and convey the trust that is in this relationship because it's so different from anything I've experienced prior.

In other relationships with men my age I am very careful to not do or say anything that may be seen even slightly as a sign of romantic interest. When the understanding that we're brother and sister is solid and mutual, it's not that I am free to be flirtatious by any means (nor would I want to be), but that I don't have to worry about him interpreting anything romantically.

Touch is one of my "love languages" - if you've heard about those (very interesting to learn and helpful in effectively showing people how you love them. We tend to want to receive love the way we most naturally give it). For the most part, I refrain from touching the men in my life (except for a few older men I'm close with at church who are all married) because I don't wish for any misunderstandings. However, I experienced a great freedom here with my brother because I knew he wouldn't misunderstand. Please don't run with this and blow it way out of proportion. I wasn't all over him - purity is very important to God and to me, and to my brother. But the freedom is in being able to express that I care about him in a way natural to me: to pat his back in reassurance, elbow him if he's teasing me, give him a hug when we've had an awesome conversation or are saying goodbye. To say, even physically, "I care about you. You are special to me" (not exclusively special, but special as all my brothers and sisters are). "I value your encouragement and your trust. I appreciate who you are and who you're striving to become." "My fellow pilgrim and brother, I love you as only a sister in the Lord can."

This is a level of trust that only comes when both people are fully convicted of and submitted to the design of a relationship that is un-romantic until a proposal is made. I cannot FULLY trust a brother my age who may want to pursue me romantically, or may want me to think of him that way. I just can't. There is always that shakiness there. It may be exciting, but it makes for insecurity. Personally, it makes me always conscientious of my behavior and what I might be portraying. I have to focus on myself as he sees me, whereas with a "brother-until-husband" (yes, I know he'll still be my brother, but that'd make for a lot of hyphens) I can let go of all that - and save the emotional energy - and focus on knowing him for who he is and how we can know and serve the Lord more. And he can focus on knowing me for who I am, etc., also, because he trusts that I am not interpreting his words or actions as romantic in any way.

So there IS great trust IN this relationship, and it also TAKES trust on both parts. Do not pretend to have this understanding and then still have the same romantic motivations and intentions in mind, or you are being deceptive and manipulative, and certainly not a loving brother or sister. Seek to know your brother or sister's heart in this regard before you put your trust in them. It's easy to fool ourselves into thinking we only desire to be a brother or sister, but still allow the romantic questions to float in our mind. Be honest with yourself, and ask God to show you your heart so that you're not decieved by it.

Romantic feelings will come. When you get to know someone with that kind of intimacy and trust, you probably WILL feel more than platonic love for them. But that's where, as Christians, we can surrender to the Lord. Submit those feelings unto Him. It's not that He will eradicate them, but that He will take the reigns and, as Elisabeth Elliot writes, teach us to long for something more (Himself).

It's also important to be disciplined in our thoughts. If we dwell on the temptation of the feelings, we will succumb to them. Just don't focus on it. Don't allow yourself to think about how much you like this person, what you could see in the future, etc. Give it to the Lord and trust that He'll work His Plan out in your life and it will be good, whatever it entails. And stop the thoughts there.

Focus on God and Who He is. Focus on growing in His likeness, serving, reaching out, challenging and encouraging the people in your life, sharing His word... There are so many places to invest our energy and thoughts that are profitable for His glory. Don't waste your life dreaming of a person that doesn't yet belong to you, and maybe never will.

Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy -- meditate on these things. Philippians 4:8

The One, Triune God (Father, Son, Spirit) is all these things. Meditate on Him and His word, obey what you see and hear therein, and He will dwell with you and make you prosper in Him.

Sometimes there's so much to process that one hardly knows where to begin, "one" being myself. :) Well, I've begun. See, this is accountability - now I will be sure to come back and finish in the morning (when I'm not falling asleep). 'night!

The 10th of October, 2003

I love ironies. This afternoon I threw in some laundry and treated myself to my favorite movie: The Four Feathers. Toward the end of it, Dad came in with the mail. I received a letter today from Stacy, my roommate while at Trinity Western. In October of that semester, she, Karissa, and I had watched The Four Feathers together (a film about honor among other things, with an honorable love story entwined). When it ended, as we walked down the hall back to our dorm, we spoke of this moment in our lives and wondered what it would be like looking back. And so we decided to each write a letter right then - a snapshot of the present - and trade them, to return to each other at least a year later. It has been almost two, and how interesting to read my words.

Dated the 10th of October, 2003:

Lord~

I write to always remember this time in my life where the future is unsure and the dream of my husband is still a dream. None of us - Karissa K..., Stacy R..., or myself, Amanda B... know who you will lead into our lives, who we will marry and serve you with the rest of our time on this earth. Father, I pray for that man - for his growth, purity, boldness, leadership... I pray You are guiding his every step and drawing him to Yourself constantly. I thank You that the perfection of our meeting, friendship, falling into love, and final covenant with You in union is designed only by Your hands.

Lord, I pray for myself - that You would lead me to becoming the godly woman You created me to be, and the godly woman my husband is seeking in his heart. Father, I pray for the desires for Your goodness and for the plans You have for me. That the longings of my heart would match Yours. I thank You for strong Faith; for discipline and bold love in Your name; for my Christian sisters here at school and the godly examples and mentors back home. For Wayne P... and his wisdom, guidance, and affection. For Doreen's compassion and example of what You want me to be.

I lift my family up to You, and can only hope and pray for the revelation of Yourself in them. I thank You for Stacy's unyielding faith in Your power and will and mercy in answering prayers. I pray for that kind of faith. Thank You for a trusting faith, a consistent faith. I pray for a miracle-expecting faith.

A note: For the first time I feel I no longer have a secular self. I cannot separate this part from that. You are everything that I am. I am nothing except Yours. Thank You.

I do not know what my calling is, except that I am to glorify Christ and follow Him. I thought so surely that I was meant to be a nurse and go to Africa and come home and get married and have a family... and so on according to my own lovely plans. Father, as I have prayed, I don't want my plans. I want Yours. I lay my life at Your feet not knowing, but trusting. Having assurance that Your way is perfection beyond my imaginings and one day I will look back and be so ever grateful that I didn't lead myself into mediocrity when You will lead me into excellence. I love You, Lord. Every bone in my body sings Your praises.

I am settled into University life - felt at home here the moment I landed my suitcases at the Welcome Center. For the first time since grade school I have a circle of close girlfriends whom I dearly love as sisters, and am reaching out to love new people without worry of myself or my own insecurities getting in the way. I pray that I can be as loving outside of this safe, Christian community as I am within. For as Christ Himself said, we are not here to heal the healthy, but the sick.

Also interesting, I have trouble understanding the unbeliever and the rationalization of atheism. My own prior convictions are nonsense to me now, and I truly cannot grasp the logic. It is troublesome in evangelism - I pray I am able to relate still. What use am I if I can only connect with Christians in a world where I am called to be a light and a hand to those in need of a Savior? I do not mean I am the savior, of course. I suppose God will use me and give me the words. I shall not despair. I cannot be made useless so long as He is living in me, and I in Him.

I am content. I feel peace, rest, security in Jesus Christ. I am fulfilled and joyous. Though so much of life is unknown and could go in any direction, I know my purpose and ultimate destination is Christ-likeness and His Kingdom. There are days when I long for His coming to be NOW; days when I would so love to be Home forever and dwell in Heaven, but while I always look to that Day for hope and perseverance, I know in my heart of hearts that His time will be the truest and best time and He has me on this earth to glorify Himself. My wanting to get out of that early is neither what I want nor what He wants.

So, Amanda Pauline, where are you now? I pray you have grown. I pray Christ glows out of you more than ever before and that even non-believers look at you and see Christ. I pray you do not let fear stand in the way of enlightenment. I pray you are vulnerable, open, loving, trusting of people, with people, for people as Christ was and was with you. I pray that you are a faithful servant, putting everyone before yourself and seeking their and His praise, not your own. I pray you are godly. Pure. Bold. Love-filled. Giving of everything you are, everything you have. Strong. Humble. Wise. Full of God's truth and living a life reflecting that truth. I pray you love God with a heartbreaking love - heartbreaking, and being healed by Him. Overflowing. I pray He is still everything to you, that He makes you alive and shining.

I love You, Jesus! Oh, Father God in Heaven! How I love being Your child. How precious You are to me - how grateful I am. Everything for You, Lord, for You cost everything and You are worth the price. Make my life a prayer to You, a living sacrifice. May I bring glory to Your name and a smile to Your face. I love you.

In the name of Your Son through Whom we are holy, pure, saved,
Amen.
Signed 10-10-03

Reading that prayer from two years ago, I could have written it today. Lord, You have been so good and faithful, and You will continue to be. Thank You.

Tonight my friend Luke arrives from Chicago - we've been pen pals sporadically since the spring after I came home from Trinity, and he's visiting for the first time. His faith is sure and strong, and it will be so good to have a Christian man in my home for a few days. I pray he might connect with my dad and brother. The Lord will work according to His pleasure. This I know.

I've been asked to be a small group leader for three of the youth group girls, and I accept with great excitement - a little nervousness. :) Pray for me, and for these hearts whom I look forward to knowing, loving, and being known and loved by. It will be a challenge - one I so look forward to. Thank You, Father, that Your grace is sufficient for me and for us. May Your name be praised and may we all grow closer to You and to each other. In Christ's name. Amen.

God blessed the broken road that lead me straight to You...

I am so thankful to be loved by a Man who lived His life on earth as everything a man was meant to be. I am betrothed to the Lord Jesus Christ - a Man who knows and loves the Father with his whole heart, soul, mind, strength. A Man of deep compassion and mercy, of truth and integrity. A strong Man - a sure leader, inspiring His followers by example and enduring love and humility. A Man obedient to God with every breath, unto His last.

The following excerpts come from the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

Jesus. "Follow me..." and they followed. "Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword... He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me."

'And as His custom was, He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and stood up to read. And He was handed the book of the prophet Isaiah...

"The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me,

Because He has annointed Me

To preach the gospel to the poor;

He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,

To proclaim liberty to the captives

And recovery of sight to the blind,

To set at liberty those who are oppressed;

To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD."

Then He closed the book..."Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."'

"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

"He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with me scatters abroad."

"It is I; do not be afraid."

"I have compassion on the multitude because they have now continued with Me three days and have nothing to eat. And I do not want to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way."

"You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men."

"You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave - just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

"But why do you call Me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do the things which I say?"

"You know neither Me nor My Father. If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also... if you do not believe that I am He, you will die in your sins."

"For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory, and in His Father's, and of the holy angels."

"If you abide in My word, you are my disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

"And I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has power to cast into hell; yes, I say to you, fear Him!"

'Jesus stood still and called them, and said, "What do you want Me to do for you?" They said to Him, "Lord, that our eyes may be opened." So Jesus had compassion and touched their eyes. And immediately their eyes received sight, and they followed Him.'

"I am the light of the world. He who follows me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life."

"I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst."

"I am the door of the sheep... If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

'And He said to the man who had the withered hand, "Step forward." Then He said to them, "Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?" But they kept silent. And when He had looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts, He said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored as whole as the other.'

"My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand."

"I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own....I lay down My life for the sheep."

"Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father."

"Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?"

'And the unclean spirits, whenever they saw Him, fell down before Him and cried out, saying, "You are the Son of God!" But He sternly warned them that they should not make Him known.'

"I and My Father are One."

'"Look, now you have heard His blasphemy! What do you think?" They answered and said, "He is deserving of death."'

[Jesus said to His disciples,] "Where I am going, you cannot come...A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

"In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

"Holy Father, keep through Your name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are... I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one... Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth."

"Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."

'Pilate answered and said to them again, "What then do you want me to do with Him whom you call the King of the Jews?" So they cried out again, "Crucify Him!" Then Pilate said to them, "Why, what evil has He done?" But they cried out all the more, "Crucify Him!"

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do."

'THIS IS JESUS THE KING OF THE JEWS'

'Then one of the criminals who were hanged [next to Jesus] blasphemed Him, saying, "If You are the Christ, save Yourself and us." But the other, answering, rebuked him, saying, "Do you not even fear God seeing you are under the same condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we receive the due reward of our deeds; but this Man has done nothing wrong." Then he said to Jesus, "Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom." And Jesus said to him, "Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise."

"Truly, this Man was the Son of God!"

'"Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here; for He is risen, as He said."'

'And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."'

Customer Response of the Day

"How would you like that sliced?"
"I don't want to be able to read through it."

Oh, I love people.

You know what? It's almost 5:30 and I need to run before it's time to leave for prayer meeting. I could so easily blog instead, but -- ok, Lord! Going!

later :)

Your Word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path!!

Who am I

That the Lord of all the earth

Would care to know my name,

Would care to feel my hurt?

Who am I

That the Bright and Morning Star

Would choose to light the way

For my ever wandering heart?

Not because of who I am,

But because of what You've done;

Not because of what I've done,

But because of who You Are!

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow;

A wave tossed in the ocean;

A vapor in the wind.

Still You hear me when I'm calling;

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,

And You've told me who I am...

I am Yours, I am Yours!

Who Am I

That the eyes that see my sin

Would look on me with love and watch me rise again?

Who Am I

That the voice that calmed the sea

Would call out through the rain

And calm the storm in me?

I am Yours

Whom shall I fear?

Whom shall I fear

'Cause I am Yours,

I am Yours!

Casting Crowns lyrics

The Lord is my light and my salvation;

Whom shall I fear?!

The Lord is the strength of my life;

Of whom shall I be afraid?!

When the wicked came against me

To eat up my flesh,

My enemies and foes,

They stumbled and fell!!

Though an army may encamp against me,

My heart shall not fear;

Though war may rise against me,

In this I will be confident!

One thing I have desired of the Lord,

That will I seek:

That I may dwell in the house of the Lord

All the days of my life,

To behold the beauty of the Lord,

And to inquire in His temple.

For in the time of trouble

He shall hide me in His pavilion;

In the secret place of His tabernacle

He shall hide me;

He shall set me high upon a rock.

And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;

Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle;

I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord!

Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice!

Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

When You said, "Seek My face,"

My heart said to You, "Your face, Lord, I will seek."

Do not hide You face from me;

Do not turn Your servant away in anger;

You have been my help;

Do not leave me nor forsake me,

O God of my salvation.

When my father and my mother forsake me,

Then the Lord will take care of me.

Teach me Your way, O Lord,

And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies.

Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries;

For false witnesses have risen against me,

And such as breathe out violence.

I would have lost heart, except that I had believed

That I would see the goodness of the Lord

In the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord;

Be of good courage,

And He shall strengthen your heart;

Wait, I say, on the Lord!

(Psalm 27)

Remember what the Lord has done!

Remember Who He is!

Remember who you are!

Joshua speaks to God's people - to his family and the future generation - as he is old and about to die:

"You have seen all that the Lord your God

has done to all these nations because of you,

for the Lord your God is He who has fought for you.

Therefore be very courageous

to keep and do all that is written

in the Book of the Law of Moses...

...hold fast to the Lord your God,

as you have done to this day.

One man of you shall chase a thousand,

for the Lord your God is He who fights for you,

as He promised you.

Therefore take careful heed to yourselves,

that you love the Lord your God.

Behold, this day I am going the way of all the earth(I'm dying).

And you know in all your hearts and in all your souls that

NOT ONE THING HAS FAILED

OF ALL THE GOOD THINGS

WHICH THE LORD YOUR GOD SPOKE

concerning you.

Now therefore, fear the Lord,

serve Him in sincerity and truth,

and put away the gods which your fathers served...

Serve the Lord!

And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord,

choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve...

whether the gods your father served...

or the gods of the Amorites...

BUT AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE,

WE WILL SERVE THE LORD.

...He is a holy God.

He is a jealous God.

If you forsake the Lord and serve foreign gods,

then He will turn and do you harm

and consume you,

after He has done you good.

Now therefore, put away the foreign gods

which are among you,

and incline your heart to the Lord God of Israel."

(Joshua 23~24)

Remember Who He Is

(Deuteronomy 8~11)

...remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not.

Beware that you do not forget the Lord your God by not keeping His commandments, His judgements, and His statutes...

...when your heart is lifted up, [do not] forget the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage; who led you through that great and terrible wilderness... who brought water for you... who fed you with manna... that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do you good in the end...

...understand today that the Lord your God is He who goes over before you as a consuming fire.

And now, [people of God], what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, and to love Him; to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments of the Lord and His statutes which I command you today for your good?

Indeed heaven and the highest heavens belong to the Lord your God,

Also the earth with all that is in it.

The Lord delighted only in your fathers, to love them;

and He chose their descendants after them, you above all peoples, as it is this day.

Therefore circumcise the foreskins of your heart, and be stiff-necked no longer.

For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords,

the great God, mighty and awesome,

who shows no partiality nor takes a bribe.

He administers justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the stranger, giving him food and clothing. Therefore love the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.

You shall fear the Lord your God;

you shall serve Him,

and to Him you shall hold fast,

and take oaths in His name.

He is your praise,

and He is your God,

who has done for you these great and awesome things which your eyes have seen.

Your fathers went down to Egypt with seventy persons,

and now the Lord your God has made you as the stars of heaven in multitude.

...lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.

You shall teach them to your children,

speaking of them when you sit in your house,

when you walk by the way,

when you lie down,

and when you rise up.

And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates...

...love the Lord your God...

walk in all His ways...

and hold fast to Him

...you were a slave...and the Lord your God redeemed you...

deuteronomy 15:15

The Lord God is a sun and shield;

The Lord will give grace and glory;

No good thing will He withhold

From those who walk uprightly.

psalm 84:11

The mountains melt like wax at the presence of the Lord...

psalm 97:5

Let us kneel before the Lord our Maker.

For He is our God,

And we are the people of His pasture,

And the sheep of His hand.

psalm 95:6-7

Among the gods there is none like You, O Lord;

Nor are there any works like Your works.

All nations whom You have made

Shall come and worship before You, O Lord,

And shall glorify Your name.

For You are great, and do wondrous things;

You alone are God.

Teach me Your way, O Lord;

I will walk in Your truth;

Unite my heart to fear Your name.

psalm 86:8-11

I will never forget Your precepts,

For by them You have given me life.

psalm 119:93

John Piper's response to Hurricane Katrina

ARTICLE HERE.

Correction on earlier post regarding the collection of art from Iraq

The information I provided earlier is incorrect. Please see the comments on that post to clarify.

Entry and the comments from Mr. Azzawi and Ms. Sahbout can be FOUND HERE.

Come as you are, moment by moment

I feel I should preface this post with an apology of sorts for the less-than-cheery content of recent entries. In truth, life at the moment is a bit extreme - there are really awesome things happening and really incomprehensible trials at the same time. The personal trials are just uncertainties that the Lord will work out in time.

I'm feeling a bit weighted by the trials of my brethren. Please pray for Pat Klimas - she was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer recently and after beginning treatments broke her hip. Within the past weeks she developed a blood clot in her leg. It just seems to be one thing after the other. Her mother had passed away right before she was diagnosed with cancer. Her husband is not saved, and her daughter is to be married next summer.

Also an unspoken prayer request for another part of the Body. For God's provision in a miraculous way if it is possible; never-the-less, His will be done.

A relative of a family in my church, Brett, has had several friends commit suicide. This weighs so heavily on my heart. Two people I loved killed themselves when I was growing up, two others tried, my brother tried several times. It hurts like nothing else. Lord, be his comfort and his shield and strength. Be his rock and peace.

All the ministries start up again this week with new studies beginning. I'm part of the Missions Team and helping with the Kids' Club, and will attend the Ladies' Study and college/career small group. David will be teaching through "primitive theology" in Sunday school (the basics of what we believe and why) and I'm excited to see my dad learn more about God through it. Waiting in anticipation and hope for his final surrender to Christ. My mom signed up to be discipled! My friend Luke is coming to visit next weekend for four days! I have four days off work! :) Going hiking, to the coast in Maine, through Portsmouth, having another bon fire (though a smaller one).

Classes started and I've spoken to both my professors a bit after class - I really want to get to know them well. Completed writing assignment #1: an in-class response to an article. Basically respond in any way to any part or the whole. The article suggested that Bin Laden and al Qaeda attacked the US as a way to begin a holy war between a Christian government and the smaller Muslim region, the motivation being to unite the Islamic people world-wide. In response, I wrote about the unification of a people - particularly of a religious brethren - and compared this idea of how al Qaeda presumably seeks unification with how the God of the Bible unites His people. The purpose of the assignment was simply to give the prof an idea of our writing abilities. I'm grateful for the opportunity to get back into practice with organization of thoughts: developing a thesis and writing intentionally to support it in a clear, concise manner. As you can see from my blogging, it won't happen unintentionally. :)

Curtis in Seafood continues to be a blessing. He somehow senses when I am heavy-laden regardless of how well I think I'm not showing it. Thanks for your willing ear, kind words, and jolly laughter, brother.

I meet with Doreen weekly - she is a dearest friend and sister in the Lord. An older sister with much wisdom and encouragement. I thank God for being able to learn from her what it is to be a woman. Our time together on Thursday mornings is so good, so treasured. Thank You, Father, for the growth and depth in our relationships with You and with each other. May not a single moment be taken for granted; You give them generously from Your Hands of Grace. Thank You.

I am tired. Lord, give me rest and fill me up to continue in Your service.

Good night.

T'is a good life, this one

that sums it up, really.

hilarious movie to rent asap: Second Hand Lions. watched with girls from church, laughing to the point of not breathing and snorting. ;) and loving every minute.

went to Boston w/Mom last Fri and took some awesome pics. I just got the prints in the mail today - going to make a collage for a friend who visited a couple weeks ago and loved Boston. A fav thing to do: give gifts that are LOVED by the receiver. This will be one, and so making it is GREAT.

learned a bit o' sign language from a customer at deli yesterday and used it with another customer today. How awesome is that? So I only know two sentences (the usual: "how are you?" and "have a good day"), but connecting to people with whom I otherwise wouldn't really be able - beyond smiling - is definitely neat.

Heath traded his car for a Harley - woohoo, can't wait for a ride on the back of THAT. the bene's of having a crazy bro. haha

last night went for a night walk in the woods with Curtis (bro in Seafood) to the remains of a town that was abandoned LONG ago. late 1700's. way out there the stars were so clear. we followed the trail by flashlight, coming to an unexpected clearing where a homestead used to be. then we came to the wide clearing of several properties divided by stone walls, and a house that has been preserved as it would have been when the town existed. - it was a fun mini-adventure. Mom was concerned about us being eaten by coyotes or mistaken for vandals... Her sweet way with words: "if you're not back by midnight... well, I'll start clearing out your room." Ma mere. Elle est... ma mere. :) We pulled in the drive at 11pm. All is well.

I realized the other day: I am in this, the fifth year of my walk with the Lord. March 19th, 2006, I'll turn 5. Wow - God is so good and faithful. It's been the best journey and will only get better.

Tomorrow I don't have to work until half-past noon, so I can go for a run first thing and have a few free hours at the start of the day - so nice.

Another friend coming to visit in two weeks who hasn't been here before - going to be so fun!

Fall schedule about to start (school, ladies' Bible study, Kids' Club, small group, discipleship, and I can take ballet class Saturday mornings! yay!)

Found school number one to which I will apply for next fall. That's all I'm saying on that. "That which you feel most deeply you ought to remain silent about. At least until you've talked it over thoroughly with God."

And there you have a snapshot of Amanda-life at just past midnight on 3 Sept 2005.

Goodnight.