Book of Sanction, 1999

Kreem Resen

Dafatir: Contemporary Iraqi Book Art

The University of North Texas' Art Gallery will be exhibiting Iraqi Collage Art. The pieces arrive in July.

Fellow blogger Caleb Wills, a student in the communication design program of UNT, has been working for the university's gallery this summer and has posted a series of the works on his blog. He writes of the coming exhibition:

basically it is a collection of handmade art… i suppose most art is techincally handmade… however these artists had to hide all their supplies and subject matter because of your buddy saddam’s anti-creative regime. they are all small pieces in size, it made it easier for them to hide and smuggle the art out. if you are anywhere near UNT you are obligated to see this exhibit.

Scroll down to see more.

Poetry Book (Sadi Youssef), 1995

Dia al-Azzawi

The Latest from Brother Duke in Iraq

READ THIS POST from Duke on June 29, 2005. Please. Duke is a soldier of God and of the United States - a medic in Iraq with thoughts and observations we would all better from reading.

He finishes the post with (in case you don't read the whole thing, at least read this):

"As I close this long discourse on my experiences that day, I wanted to add how I was encouraged by the recent speech by Bush and I am sure the Iraqi Colonel would be as well. The President was discussing that many had called on us to pull out of Iraq before it was stable. His answer was firm. “For the sake of our Nation's security, this will not happen on my watch.” No opinion polls support this decision. This is a decision of a brave and great leader, who cares more about the future of America than his poll numbers. I am honored to serve under his command.

Soli Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come"

Woohoo!! Flying! 

Almost... 

Leaving Dreams Behind and Chasing Balloons

I always sleep with the windows open, even in the winter - though just a crack. When I moved to New York a few years ago, about a week of sleepless nights followed before the sirens, voices, music, and passing cars were as lulling as the whippor-wills had been. I've since re-acclimated to the night birds and tree frogs, waking up only occasionally when my brother sings to the darkness, or Dad heads downstairs for an early morning snack.

The sounds of these woods are the same as I remember from childhood. Well, except then Mum put me to bed before dark. I'd lay in bed - the window open, a sheet covering, my blankey faithfully devoted to my side (silky binding on my nose), always the same thumb in my mouth - and I'd wait for the sun to go down and the whippor-wills to begin their song.

Whooosh! Whooosh! Like short blasts of a blow torch, just at sunrise, I'd hear the hot air balloons rising up above the treeline. Our backyard is a field and then forest, and the balloons would elevate and coast over the pines and birches, then float down to land on the vast stretch of timothy and dandelions.

Whooosh! I opened my eyes and sat up to search out the window - nothing yet, just trees standing still and fog wafting off the grass. I hugged my blankey and slipped out of bed, quietly hurrying to the office for a better view. A double window with no panes in the center of the back wall of our home. Whooosh! Still nothing...oh, there! A sliver of red rising - now fuller... orange! yellow! It must be a rainbow-colored one - that's my favorite!

I ran across the hall to wake Mum and Dad. A hot air balloon! A hot air balloon!

Mum got up and rushed on her gardening sneakers - the ones morning dew couldn't possibly worsen. Dad rubbed his eyes, yawning his lion's yawn, and climbed out of bed while we made it outside and across the field toward their landing zone. Whooosh! The balloon, in it's beautiful entirety, now drifted completely above the trees and closer to us. Hello, balloon! We'd huddle together in the fresh coolness of early air and watch it descend. Some pilots landed gracefully, some bumped and jostled their grinning passengers. This one hovered, then patted the ground gently like a grandfather on his favorite grandchild's shoulder. Finally it rested still and the family inside climbed out.

Mum and I stayed to watch the balloon lay down and rest, deflate, and be rolled into its carrying bag. Dad arrived for the champagne toast with a good-morning smooch for Mum, a grizzly-bear hug for me. I would always tell him, You missed the best part! He'd raise his glass and shrug - Well, here's to the next time, then, Sala.

************************************************************************************

Yesterday morning I went to the Sunday-start of the High Hopes Balloon Festival to try my hand at crewing for a hot air balloon. Aunt Honi, who's not really my aunt, flies a balloon called "Amazing Grace" - Soaring to New Heights in His Amazing Grace, and at five-twenty in the morning I joined her established crew to send her up, chase her to the land zone, and take her down.

I used to want to be a storm chaser - following the weather patterns and then navigating to the storm zone to catch the twister and speed out of its path. That was in fifth grade. We were studying tornadoes (When we studied the planets I wanted to be an astronaut; went to Washington, D.C. - an F.B.I. agent.). Anyway, chasing a hot air balloon is somewhat comparable. Not dangerous, and far more predictable, but the winds are still controlled by the LORD alone, and as we followed her through the sky, communicating by walkie-talkie, we changed our course of travel several times to finally track her down. We saw no lightning or flying debris, but we did finish the chase with a cool glass of sparkling cider - and four happy passengers, safely on the ground.


Note: the balloons pictured are not from Sunday, but they give an idea of what you'd see.

Inside the balloon as it inflates 

It Takes a Village - thank you much

I know Father's Day was last week, but just today I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the many "fathers" in my life, and especially for my Heavenly Father. So while I'm early for most things (except Sunday school which I frustratedly am five minutes late for way too often - Sorry, Dave) with this post, I am four days late. But I love you all just the same. :)

Abba, Father! Above all others, I thank You and I love You. You are the keeper and sole occupier of my whole heart. Others are dear to me, very dear, but to You alone do I belong, and only You can I not live without. That is as far as I can write - it is a depth beyond words.

'Neath the starry lights I dance among the grasses dancing, too;
Gentle blowing sends them rolling; me, I sway for You.
Cannot speak for words come naught, but movement through my embers burns,
A shouting silence to the world, this Love for Whom I yearn.

My 'fathers.' Such thanks and praise be to God for the men He has placed all around me. Men who are His children, and my brothers for eternity. Thank you for encouragement, accountability, realistic perspective, prayer, insight, teachings, stories, time, leadership, and care. You've shown me the love of Christ time and again - His affection and His chastening, Grace and Truth. Pastor, Wayne, Paul, Mr. Jackson, Dave, and Stu (as years certainly don't determine age - completely - in God's Kingdom), you've all had extensive roles in raising me since I was born again, and not for one second do I take it for granted. The poor boy who chooses to love me forever - he's got a lot of inspections to pass!

And my dad. It's been a journey, and it will continue, I'm sure. I hope. We've gone so long not understanding each other: walking silently in different directions or crashing, but never hand-in-hand down the same drive, with the same destination. It seemed we never would. Yet, today I look and see a man changing. I see coldness and hardness growing warmer and softer. Rigidity becoming tender. Excuses turning into apologies. Where you seemed indifferent, now you are affectionate. What you hated in me, you are accepting. For the first time I look at you, and I'm beginning to recognize who you are. The stranger is fading, and my father stands in his place. I've missed you! Without having known you, I missed you. And I'm so glad you're here.

Heavenly Father, You have claimed him as Your own, I know it. No man seeks after You unless You are drawing him. No man miraculously transforms except by Your hand. Continue Your work, I pray, for Your glory and our joy in that glory. Truly, You are an awesome God, worthy of all praise, now as always, in all circumstances, for all time. Hallelujah to the King of kings! Amen!

Happy Father's Day! :)

To live is Christ, and to die is gain

Yesterday I met with an academic advisor at the College to pick out my classes for the fall. The lineup: Anatomy, English, Spanish, and "Success Strategies."

I can't help but reflect on that word. Success. It even sounds like hissing. Our culture's bowl of lies promises to nourish us to that end - to success - yet leaves us starving (perhaps while gorged). Starving and wasted. Wasted!

Piper's book comes to mind as it often does because there is only one image in all creation, from and for all time, that screams SUCCESS!! and lets us eat and hunger no more:

Christ Crucified.

A Testimony of the Lord's Mercy Toward a Sinner, me, Part One

Last night I shared my testimony (how God drew me into His fold) with the youth group at my church. Bearing my heart is not something I take lightly, and it was a bit frightening. Of course I've told the story of my salvation to many, but always with a certain vagueness. I decided to be wholly honest this time around, and I pray, with earnest hope and expectation, that God will be glorified. Because truly, my story is His story.

And so it goes...

I came to know the Lord at 17, about four years ago. Looking back, I can see how God simotaneously allowed me to lead myself to my own near-demise and intervened through Christian friends and the softening of my hard heart with His very own, very gentle hands. Thank You, Father.

I begin with the story of my life without Christ, and of how He had to let me crash before I was humbled enough to accept Him; I finish with God's miraculous compassion toward a hateful sinner, and how He loved me into loving Him.

Part One

I was such an empty girl, trying to be full but searching everywhere - in everything - except in God. In my own fallenness, I couldn't search for God, and He wasn't calling me, yet. Mostly I looked to boys. My journals are full of names and longings - I wanted to be loved, really. I sought after a false idea of what love was. The words say I wanted to be held and kissed, but the unwritten truth is that I wanted someone to know me, understand me, and treasure what they found inside me. Surely then I would feel complete.

When I was sixteen, I met Mike. He was funny, seemed to "get" me, and my parents hated him. Perfect. :) He seemed to meet all my needs: he held me, he kissed me; he even knew and understood me better than anyone else did. So I poured myself into him. I put my trust in him. I relied on him for my self-worth and value. I gave myself to him in every way - physically, emotionally, even spiritually. I looked to Mike for things only God can give.

I think it's important to tell you that even though I was wrapped up in this person and he was loving me the way he knew, the void was still there if I looked for it. I mean, I could float on emotion for a long time. I could feel really good. But the void was still there, and it came up in my journal. One entry asks, "What, in my life, has so much importance that it's part of my soul? I can't think of anything. It makes me feel really empty." I thank God for those moments because those are the moments of reality and truth. Without Christ, we ARE empty and WILL lead a meaningless existence of searching and never finding. He must find us. And when he does, then our lives begin. But I'm getting ahead of myself!

The place I reached -emotionally- where my strength finally gave out was as close to "rock bottom" as I have ever been. It's hard to remember what led to the breakdown, really. I hid so much inside and told so many lies. I vaguely remember talking to a counselor about having to be strong all the time, and I know there was always family drama that I would be trying to stabilize. Maybe it was stress from working, dancing, school, family... I do remember exhaustion and feeling so alone. Those were contributors, I'm sure, but the bottom line was that I needed The Savior and worshiped my boyfriend instead.

Where was my "love" now when I began to crumble? He was confused by me, and dealt with it by distance and harsh words. He was a seventeen year old boy! When you make someone other than God, God, they're going to let you down. So the god I'd created abandoned me, and my world crashed around me. I couldn't get myself up.

cont'd

A journal entry from two months after I'd reached bottom says,

"I've gone weeks in a row having to coax myself out of bed everyday, half the time being unsuccessful. Weeks of struggling through the day, but somehow managing to keep it inside - which is awful. Being a corpse inside, but outside the same, cheerful Amanda as always. My grades have fallen. I've been absent more than not. I've walked the halls as a zombie. I've lied to my family, my best friends. I've cried. God, I've cried so many days. Wondering why? When is this cloud going to lift? Why am I feeling this? I dropped out of high school. I broke up with the first person I ever loved. I lost touch with many of those friends I'd just made."

That hopelessness was there - and strongly - but then there were these moments of awakening. One day I wrote, "I feel like I'm getting spiritual. Like maybe there is someone up there. It's comforting, anyway, to 'talk' to them." But within the week I'd fall again: "My days have been bleak and dark and painful. I've questioned the purpose of getting up each morning." It's like the spiritual battle was raging already. Satan was trying his hardest to hold me down, but God was looking to pull me up.

There's a song that you've probably heard a million times, and I had too. Then one day I was in the car with friends out west [I spent a semester in British Columbia], it came on, and as I listened I just started crying. The singer is exactly where I was when God reached out His hand to me and I finally took it. I didn't know who He was, but I knew I was with Him from then on.

[I'll put the lyrics in. It's Avril Lavigne's "I'm With You"]

I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waitin' in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I... I'm with you

I'm looking for a place
searching for a face
is anybody here I know
cause nothing's going right
and everything's a mess
and no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I... I'm with you

Oh why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind
yea yea yea

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I... I'm with you

Take me by the hand take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...

So that was part one...

Testimony, Part Two

So that was part one. That's how God let me get to a place where I would fully see my need for Him, where I would realize that no person could take His place. But while my own sinfulness was bringing me down that path, God had sent workers who were telling me about Him. And this is Part Two... It comes from my memory only - my journals are silent, probably because I couldn't see Him working. It's only in hindsight that His Hand is obvious.


There were many workers who planted seeds in my heart - people I knew, and even strangers, that I remember telling me bits about this Jesus who is LORD. I thank God for all of them, for their faithful witness. God used two people in particular to challenge and inspire me before I believed, and to sharpen and lead me once I confessed His name. Part two is the story of God actively preparing my heart for His Truth and His True Love, without which I would have perished, and perished eternally.


Part Two


The first time I saw Andy Murray he was coming down the hall past my locker and I said to myself, "I want to know him." And it wasn't, as you may be thinking, because he was amazingly good-looking (which he was). It was because he was wearing a polka-dotted, polyester shirt and two-toned wing tip shoes. HE WAS DIFFERENT. He could have hung out with the in-crowd, but he chose not to. I liked that. I say this not to confess a crush, but rather because I think it speaks to God's awesome sovereignty and attention to detail. God knew He would use Andy to bring me to Himself, and He knew I would naturally be attracted to someone who was different, even in matters as superficial as fashion.


It was actually about a year between that first sighting and when we met and talked.

*An embarrassing, but amusing side note: Somewhere during that year, I went to youth group for the first time simply because I knew he would be there. Incidentally, I didn't go back(until months later) because "Christianity just wasn't for me."

So I met Andy on an English field trip. He sat across from me on the bus, and the first words out of my mouth: "What does Christianity teach about birth control?" I might have even asked about pre-marrital sex. It wouldn't surprise me. I'm sorry. All I can say is Praise God that I am a new creation in Him, and my filth has been washed whiter than snow! Well, it broke the ice, anyway, and we became friends. Often I'd sit at lunch with Andy and a few other guys of different faith backgrounds and listen to them debate. Andy had this passion in him; I could see it in his eyes and I wanted it, but I didn't want Christ. I remember hearing the gospel and saying, "I guess you either believe it or you don't. And I just don't." I respected and liked Andy, but I couldn't believe the truths he shared. God had yet to call my heart, and I had yet to lead myself to destruction.

Time passed. I roller-coastered up and down and then began my steady descent. I think it was the day I dropped out of high school that Andy looked me in the eye and asked, "Amanda, what do you believe about the Bible?" and for the first time my pride was beaten down enough for me to reflect honestly and say, "You know, I've never read it." Jessi Rattin, a good friend to me throughout high school [who would later disciple me as I began following Jesus], suggested I begin in John. So that night I started reading. I remember praying, though I forget the words. I would guess an apology of some sort. I had not been kind to my Lord. I'd been outspoken in my hatred of Him in class, especially. In my circle of friends, we were all atheists. And not in rebellion or teenage anger, really. The idea of God just seemed foolish to me, a weakness. I probably felt all the same objections as anyone who has such a deep misunderstanding of Who our Awesome God really is. Once I met Him, the one true God, I fell in love.

That meeting, that first moment of surrender, came at youth group the Sunday after I dropped out of high school. An evangelist was visiting church that day, and he told a story about a man he'd met in a prison in South America. This man had brutally killed and didn't believe anyone could ever forgive him. The evangelist shared with him Paul's words: Christ died to save sinners, of whom I am the worst. If Christ died for Paul, who had persecuted and killed many Christians before becoming one, surely He died for the Spanish prisoner, as well.

The man believed in Christ's sacrifice and accepted His forgiveness. As thanks for sharing this gift of the gospel, he asked if the evangelist would accept a gift in return. The prisoner reached under his mattress and pulled out a braided rope he'd made from his bed sheets. He'd planned to hang himself with it that night.

That rope would have been his death, but Jesus gave him hope for life. Like this man, I came to a point where I understood my need of forgiveness, my need of a hope for life. Like this man, I found it in Christ. We both had the same thirst; we both drank of the Lord Jesus Christ and were quenched.

My brother Matthew writes:

...and I no longer thirst.
posted June 13th 2005 08:48:50 AM

The Water of Life is offered freely to any and all that will accept it - without reimbursement in coin or deed. The LORD has declared that any that thirsts will be filled. As with all things, we can certainly hold GOD to His promises.

A man that is parched with thirst does not pant upon the shore of a flowing river, wondering how much such relief would cost him or what manner of tasks he must complete in order to be found worthy to drink. He all but flings himself into the rushing water so that his thirst might be quenched.

Would a man die for want of reason to repent?

Yes, indeed, I was such a Soul...

...laying prostrate upon the filthy ashes of my own wisdom, sinking into despair and emptiness - while Eternal Salvation was presented freely before me. Cursing myself for being unworthy of the Blood, and weeping to be rescued - as I had not the will to lift myself out of the darkness in which I had resided for my entire life.

Glory be to GOD that He did not leave me to me folly - but Saved me from myself, creating in me a new Spirit.

If at this very hour, you are without understanding or conviction, seek the living water that is Jesus Christ - and He will provide both in abundance.

Within the darkness of your own heart, if you know that you are without Salvation then you are standing upon the very doorstep of the Holy Manor.

If you know yourself to be ripe with the fruits of Sin, then you are within the very grasp of the Holy Spirit - take hold of this and flee from the coming judgment!

Your mercy, O Lord, reaches to the heavens;
Your faithfullness stretches to the sky.
Your righteouness is like the mighty mountains;
Your truth rolls like the ocean's tides.
Psalm 36:5-6

Thank You, my Father. Yours is the glory, the power, and the dominion forever. Amen.

A Long-Term View

A devotional message from Elisabeth Elliot at Back to the Bible:

Title: Spiritual Equilibrium

Sometimes a hope or desire lays hold on one with such power that it becomes almost burdensome, even though the thing is a delight to contemplate. The ordinary business of life must be attended to, but this thing carries a lot of weight in soul, mind, and heart. It has a strong pull. And when you are carrying a heavy weight, you have to compensate in order to keep your balance. The best means to spiritual equilibrium, I find, is to look repeatedly at the things which are not seen, that is, at things which are eternal. What Evelyn Underhill calls "the pressure of the Divine Charity" forever urges me forward, counteracting the pressure of my emotions and human desires, reminding me with great patience and great persistence that this thing--this love, this longing, this huge desire--is the very thing God Himself gave, in order that I might have "somewhat to offer." He will see to it that it does not come to nothing, provided we lay it before Him, put it at his disposal.

Lord, all that I long for is known to you,
my sighing is no secret from you...
I put my trust in you, Yahweh,
and leave you to answer for me, Lord my God.
--(Ps 38:9, 15 JB)

For me, "this thing" which both delights and distresses is actually a combination of things, of hopes and desires that are quite entwined yet at times seem at odds with each other. As Ms. Elliot writes, the delight is in knowing that God is more than aware of these desires; the distress slinks in when I try to fathom exactly how and when He might work them out and consequently what I should be doing to get there. I am learning the balance.

An older, wiser person than I asked me where I see myself in ten years. "Have a long-term view. Where do you want to be 10 years from now? It will go by faster than you would ever think. Are you willing to plan, chart the course, and take the daily/weekly/monthly steps to reach your objective? If so, you will get farther in 10 years than you ever dreamed of. Of course you will have to give up good things along the way to get the great things (for God)."

What's my ten-year vision? To be educated, yet DEBT-FREE. That will probably mean that I work more and go to school less. But it's important to me that I have an education. I have too many unanswered questions. I'll take as many courses as I can afford to without loans and take full advantage of the libraries and well-educated brains in my life to learn unofficially whatever I can't at school.

Goals: to have thoroughly studied all the areas I wrote about earlier and be able to teach what I've learned to other seekers; to be actively serving in my church and community; to be fluent in Spanish and French; to have travelled abroad and lived in another culture. And to go skydiving. :) But for the cost of jumping out of a plane I could take two credits of course work. priorities...?

Desires:
Family
To be the godly wife of a godly husband and have children that we're both joyfully passionate about raising in the Lord; to be homeschooling and have our home open to travelers, studiers, small groups: LOTS of fellowship; to be a family immersed and serving in the body of Christ and the community and learning; to travel as a family and learn first hand about cultures, the outdoors, adventure, history, music, art, sports, science... The most important thing we can teach our children about is who God is, what He has done, how He loves them, and how they can be in relationship with Him; how to live as Christ did and love others.
Missions
To get my feet wet in short term missions, working with children, possibly long term.

John Piper writes in his 1980 end of the year sermon I Have Kept the Faith:

Numbering your days simply means remembering that your life is short and your dying will be soon. Great wisdom, great life-revolutionizing wisdom comes from periodically pondering these things.

Part of that life-changing wisdom that comes from numbering our days is humility and yieldedness to the sovereignty of God. James wrote to an arrogant group of people among the churches and said,

Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and get gain'; whereas you do not know about tomorrow. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we shall live and we shall do this or that. As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

If we run away from the truth that we are a mist that appears a moment and then vanishes, if we try to keep this from our minds, then we will become arrogant and presumptuous. We will feel that we are the masters of our days and forget that every moment of life is owing to the free and sovereign will of God: "If the Lord wills we shall live…"

But, if we do not run away from this truth and instead, at least once a year (for myself it must be much more often), imagine that our death is near, then we will be humbled and moved to yield ourselves to God more fully and filled with a practical wisdom for how to live.

And in A Godward Life:

What matters is not that we do all we might have done or all we dreamed of doing, but that, while we live, we live by faith in future grace and walk in the path of love. The times are in God’s hands, not ours.

With this common conviction we will, God willing, embrace [life] with all the might that God inspires in us... May the Lord establish the plans of our hearts.

Amen.

Seven: the number of grey areas in my faith (so far)

I've been humbled and left slightly overwhelmed recently. I think I'm living in a grey area, or at least believing and thinking in one, which I suppose would lead to living there.

Deep breath.

A few hours have passed since I began writing this post. I stopped to thoroughly consider what questions I have, what concepts need clarification. Earlier, I over-reacted a bit. First, the debates and articles I've been perusing are written - many of them - by theological scholars and people who've been committed to knowing the Lord a bit longer than I have. Second, it's good to know that I don't know very much (and I'm sure those who know far more than I do would say they don't know very much, either, in the scope of God's infinite knowing). It's also good to recognize the grey areas and seek answers. So that's what I've spent these interim hours pondering.

Here are some questions/ideas/what-have-you-related-to-Christianity that I will be studying and searching out. Asking the Holy Spirit to show me the truth about, and wrestling with those truths 'til He inevitably wins out and pins me. :) Graciously, His victory is mine, as well. Isn't that reason to dance (or sing or laugh or be still...)!

• I've concluded from various readings that I'm a "Calvinist," and would like to dig further into the meat of what that means (I've sort of given the doctrines a once or twice-over), to KNOW and understand DEEPLY the Calvinist world-view and where/how my lifeway should stem from that view. Part of this is the five point TULIP (or RSLEP, as Sproul would prefer). I want to learn the verses that support these doctrines, and the ones that seem to contradict it, and understand why they actually don't contradict. I have an inkling I could probably get this from reading Sproul's Chosen by God several more times (which I probably will), but I'd like to have other sources.

• How does the free will of man co-exist with the Providence of God? Free will is our ability to choose that which we most desire (hence, an unbeliever CANNOT choose God because he/she can not desire Him). If God determines our (brethren's) desires (by putting them in our hearts), isn't he then determining our choices? How could our free choices work together to fulfill God's sovereign plan if He didn't determine those choices? If He is determining our choices, do we have free will at all? Why is it so important that we have free will?

• What are the common, supposed contradictions in the Bible and how are they NOT contradictions (I know the Bible is true, therefore I know it doesn't contradict itself)?

• Regarding denominations: What are they and is there one whose doctrines I agree with 100%? Is it neccesary to/should we label ourselves? How do we work toward/maintain unity within the Body in light of all the denominational separations?

• Regarding Christian Community: How do we break down the walls and LOVE each other? What makes authentic, effective community? How does a church move toward, attain, maintain such community? How is the Church doing at present? What are the effective communities doing differently from the ineffective ones that makes them so(small groups, discipleship, service ministries...)? Does the size of the church effect its quality of authentic community(small churches, larger churches, super churches...)?

• What are the specifics of Intelligent Design (Anthropic Principle)?

• What are "presuppositional" apologetics? Does it then follow that there are "post- suppositional" apologetics? Plain ol' "suppositional?" When the question mark isn't part of the quotation does it still go inside the quotation at the end of the sentence? :)

Dear reader, feel free to (rather, PLEASE DO) comment on said grey areas of my faith. It's quite exciting to have a direction of learning. Also exciting: the tangents that lie ahead, just waiting to beg further questioning (because no direction I've started in thus far has finished the same way... except the one towards Christ)! Alright, Spirit, let's get ready to rumble! :)

The reading list (suggestions most welcome):

• God, The Bible
• Jonathan Edwards, On the Freedom of the Will
• Martin Luther, Bondage of the Will
• Mark Roberts, No Holds Barred: Wrestling with God in Prayer (I don't know if this is related to above q's, but it sounded interesting)
• R.C. Sproul, Chosen by God (again. again. aga...)
• Something from David Heddle about ID :)
• ...
• ...
• ...
• ...
• ...

God's Soldier, and America's too

A week or so ago, I came across a blog of near-daily emails from a medic in Iraq. This doctor is a man of God with compassion and beautiful words of God's goodness, mercy, and grace in the midst of the deep sorrows and pain of war. Wherever we stand regarding the war, we must undeniably stand as brothers and sisters in Christ, amazed by the work God is doing through His people on the frontlines.

Looking closer, I'm in awe of His faithfulness to this individual man, His faithfulness to every person who belongs to Him. Our lives may be tumultuous in many different ways, and God may allow them to stay that way. But His goodness is overwhelming in that the whole time, He is right here with us. Love is proven strong and true by enduring with the beloved, far more so than by offering a quick fix. As God's children, we are His beloveds. Duke, and all of God's army, you are His beloveds and He is enduring with you. I pray you may be strong and persevere and show mighty compassion in the name of our Everlasting Father. God bless you and keep you. Amen

Excerpts from the emails of 'Duke':

May 11, 2005

"Next we load the walking patients. As the bus pulls up, all the people involved in loading the litter patient form a tunnel. Much like what cheerleaders may do at a sporting event. However, this is much more somber. The people forming the tunnel applaud as the walking wounded board the bus with well wishes of: “Have a safe trip.” “Thanks for all you did.” “They’ll take good care of you in Germany.” “God Bless you.”

The team of medics have been working non-stop since receiving these patients earlier in the evening to get the patients out tonight. The plane now closes its cargo doors. It’s 0430. This will undoubtedly repeat tomorrow until there is peace and freedom in Iraq."


May 14, 2005

"Many may ask what are we doing taking care of the enemy. My response would come from a parable that Jesus taught us. In Luke 10: 25-37, Jesus tells of a story when a Jew had been robed and beaten. A Priest and a Levite pass him and do nothing to help. Then a man from Samaria, hated by the Jews, stops and cares for him and then makes arrangements for his continuing care. Jesus exalts this man as one who truly showed love for his neighbor.

So what about us medics in the armed forces taking care of these guys who are trying to kill us. We give them our blood and the best medical care that can be found in Iraq. What would they probably do if we were injured? Well if history is our guide they may drag us through the streets. I think that type of behavior would qualify them as the very least of our brethren. In Matthew 25: 40 Jesus states, “……’I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did it for me.”

The time in Iraq is a crucible for my faith and I need God’s gift of compassion and grace and mercy more than ever."


May 21, 2005

"I do not pretend to understand the permissive will of God. I do not believe that I should. I thought of this while I was reading Exodus. (Being in the Middle East brings Exodus to life.) In Exodus 21: 12-13 it states “Anyone who strikes a man and kills him shall surely be put to death. However, if he does not do it intentionally, but God lets it happen, he is to flee to a place I will designate. Another verse in Exodus 4:11 “The Lord said to him, ‘Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord” Both of these verses show the control God has over both death and illness/disability.

Of course, volumes could be written on this subject, but briefly how do I reconcile the concept of an all loving, all powerful, and all knowing God allowing death and suffering. The answer: I absolutely believe that God is good. If at any point there is a situation where this does not appear to be true, I accept that I probably do not have all the information, especially the future results of the permissive will of God. This question was indirectly raised by the disciples in John 9:2-3 “His disciples asked Him, Rabbi who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”

I believe God is working in all of us to either bring us into right relationship with Him or refine the impurities out of us.

Job said it best after he lost almost everything including his children. Job 1:21 “…Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” "


May 22, 2005

"Honestly, I have a long way to go in the forgiveness department. When I see our wounded soldiers and the innocent men women and children of Iraq killed or wounded, I want vengeance. Once again the Bible is there to guide me. Romans 12:19-20 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay”. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” I hope we as medics are doing this as we treat those who have attacked our soldiers."


June 2, 2005

"This is a very unnatural busy we are engaged in. I can see why people who have been in combat are never quite the same after they come home and why people who have not been there can never really understand. There are many different reactions to the alarm reds. Some cry and others find them annoying. Some never take off their body armor, some will not put it on unless ordered to do so. I do not worry much about the mortar attacks and I think that is because I feel God’s will will be done whether I am in Iraq or Texas. In Jeremiah 10:23, it says, “I know, O Lord, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for a man to direct his steps.” I truly believe that God can lead me to a mortar if that be His will or He can lead me away. He will direct my steps.

Job shows a trust I desire to have, “Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.” Job 13:15.

Soli Deo Gloria"

To read all of 'Duke's' letters:
http://brokenmasterpieces.com