Praise God! My Dad has joined God's family!!

Yay!! This afternoon my dad and I prayed together and he surrendered his life to Christ. Amen!! I am overwhelmed with joy and thanksgiving. There is a strength in him already that wasn't there before - an assurance of God's sovereignty and goodness.

Please pray for him as he begins this journey in faith. Pray for growth and rooting. Pray God binds Satan from deterring him. Also pray for my parents' relationship - they are now both Christians - wee ones - Pray they would be strengthened and united and that their focus is on the Lord.

Praise You, Father! Thank You so much.

God's hands in the deli: I slice chicken, He tenderizes hearts

Today I learned that my coworker Dean (age 36, extremely varied personal and professional background) was president of his youth group - he rebelled against his father's making him go to church by being super-involved. Interesting approach.

As an adult, he was "born again for a while" and baptized twice. He says he was sincere at the time, but just doesn't believe it anymore. He didn't know what made the change, and didn't want to talk about it. Doesn't think people should talk about their beliefs and try to convert each other. I said I didn't believe any person could convert another person. He said again, he just didn't want to talk about it. I stopped. He continued. :)

November 9th, David Heddle is giving a talk on Intelligent Design at my church. Dean said he'd like to come.

A few months ago I met Tyrone outside at the break bench. He's 64. We spent the fifteen minutes getting to know each other a bit. I saw him again at the deli a few weeks ago, and he recognized me, though I didn't remember his face. Now he is a regular at the deli, and we always chat a few minutes. Yesterday I saw him at the courtesy desk on my way to break, and we talked a bit. Somehow I ended up telling him about taking correspondence classes through Moody Bible Institute and he asked what I'd be studying. Well, the Bible. He asked what religion? I'm a Christian, non-denominational. I just believe the Bible is the truth... Tyrone had some criticisms of the church and corruption... It's true, lots of churches have lost their foundation... But I've found a church that loves Jesus and teaches right out of the Bible. I invited Tyrone - if he ever wants to go to a solid church, he's welcome.

Pray for these men, please. Pray for Tyrone. Both of his parents have passed away in the last four months. He had lived with them as caregiver for years. So now he's alone. Pray for him as Thanksgiving comes. I would like to invite him to come share it with my family. Pray my family would welcome him.

Tomorrow night I'm sharing my testimony with the ladies at my church. I'm comfortable speaking in front of an audience, but the subject matter is close to my heart, and I always get nervous baring so much. Please pray that I would be received with much grace and encouragement from my sisters. Pray that God would be glorified and would shine as unmistakably Beautiful and Joyful and worthy of all praise, as He is.

Two of my sisters from dancing days gone by have become professionals! yay!

We all grew up together in ballet class at Southern NH Dance Theater; sisters united by a common devotion to and passionate love for dancing.


Biography of my Joffrey dancer :) (click link to see photos)

Lauren Stewart


Biography of my Ajkun dancer

Amy Von Handorf

If you plant seeds in a deli, what may God grow? Hint: it's not turkey.

This morning I met with Doreen for our weekly studying, accountability, prayer, chatting, discovery, encouragement, challenge... so on as it is with two sisters in love with Christ and striving to walk in holiness.

We spoke about sharing the gospel: why do we hesitate? Are we afraid to offend people? We agreed that we have the feeling that sharing OUR faith (which is so intolerated by a society that teaches "tolerance") is somehow infringing on the hearer's rights - that it's imposing. And we also agreed: so what! Why do we buy into this lie? Christ is Freedom and Life and Joy! Why should that be an imposition? We agreed that we fear rejection, and again decided: so what! Of course some people will be offended by the gospel and reject us for following Christ - but so what? If a person rejects the gospel, they are rejecting my Lord and are a child of Satan - why do I care if they love me?? And some people will not be offended; they will find True Love for the first time.

We prayed that we would gladly risk rejection that some might find acceptance in Christ.

Also spoken of: the Power of the Spirit that is within us - He is the Spirit of the Living, omnipotent GOD. There is such confidence in knowing this! Today began a new phase of the journey for me, walking in the fullness of the Spirit.

Tonight in the deli, I met Cindy. She is a new co-worker (George has moved on to working in construction making double his deli wages, and being provided with health insurance. He's working for a Christian man. Praise the Lord, and pray for George's salvation. Cindy is filling his hours). I thank God for being able to share with her a bit - it's amazing what He will do when I let the Spirit work and don't hinder Him with fear or self-reliance!

Cindy was baptized at 13 and attended church with her mom. She enjoyed youth group and church activities... but doesn't seem to have had a deep relationship with the Lord. Her husband is nominally Catholic, and she became Catholic to marry him, but she has never agreed with parts of the doctrine (confessing to a priest, for one, instead of to God). I was able to share a bit of my testimony - just that I wasn't raised with anything, but as a teenager the Lord completely turned my life around.

Our conversation had started out with New Year's Eve traditions (because I was talking about the Cailidh! yeah, Campbells! :) ) and she said how she and her husband weren't big partiers. Neither am I. Oh, but I WAS. As a teenager I drank quite a bit, but I became a Christian my junior year of high school, and my life changed drastically. Talked a bit about today's teen culture, and what so many get into.... I don't know where I would be if not for Christ - well, yes, I do, actually. Probably dead.

Yes, there's so much negative in that world. There's positive in church, she said.

There is.. I have a new hope in Christ that I never knew before.

And then a customer came, and our conversation ended.

Later in the evening, my manager brought up faith. Scott. He is a sweetheart of a man - witty and caring, though he puts on a front of coarseness and crassness with the older workers and some of our regulars. I enjoy Thursday nights because the staffing tends to be (thank You, Lord) Scott, Curtis, and myself. Tonight added Cindy, as she is in training. Surrounded by Christians, Scott loses his front, and we have a great time being "cleanly" silly. Tonight was the first time our conversation went deep. I mouthed to Curtis, washing dishes in Seafood, "pray." It is such an awesome privilege to have a team behind the counter. While one converses, the other can pray.

I'm not sure how it started. I think Scott and Cindy must have been talking about someone dying - jokingly. And then joking about the afterlife, and Scott said something about "You know about afterlife, Amanda. Can you vouch for it? Are you sure there's life after death?"

I know it with all my heart.

And thus began a conversation about the God of the Bible. Pray for Scott, as well. He said in the monotone way of one stating passionless facts, "I know God sent His Son to die on the cross for our sins..." But why is there so much evil and destruction if God is in control...

Scott's brother was a police officer and was killed on duty a few years ago. Why would God let that happen? I trust Him, but I wonder why? His wife and other siblings lost their faith when it happened.

It's hard to understand why God works the way He does sometimes. It seems when tragedy happens we either don't understand and turn our backs on God, or we trust that He is who the Bible says He is: that He is good, and while I don't understand how, I know He is working in the way that is best.... And Scott said, we'll know in heaven, though. His hope is in knowing that all the destruction and evil will end.

He knows pieces of the truth. And I know he sees a difference in Curtis and I because he changes around us. Pray that I could share more of the fullness of the gospel with Him, and answer his questions with Truth. Pray that His heart is open and tender to hear and accept these Truths. Pray God would make the seeds take root and flourish in his heart. Pray that he might know Joy and Love and Freedom ... Life in Christ.

Father, I know You are able. I pray You are willing. This deli belongs to You in my eyes, Lord. It is Your field to be harvested. Thank You for using me there - what a great privilege to be Your hands reaching, Your heart loving, Your ears listening, Your child testifying of Your grace.

I love You, God. I want my co-workers to love You. Give them saving grace, I pray, in the name of Your perfect Son. Amen.

Knowing and Loving a Triune God

"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you." John 14:26

Today the Holy Spirit taught me who He is. Spirit, I have neglected You so much! Forgive me, and know how I love You! Just as equally as God and the Son. You are just as important. I would not learn from Christ if You did not tell me what He teaches. I would not change if You did not convict me. I would not know joy and peace if you did not assure me of my right standing with God. I feel like I've met a new Friend whom I knew all along, but didn't recognize.

"The Spirit-filled life is not a special, deluxe edition of Christianity. It is part and parcel of the total plan of God for His people." -A.W. Tozer

Romans 8:11 says,

"But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. "

The Spirit of GOD dwells in us. Christ died with the sin of all who would ever be saved upon Him, and God raised that body to pure, perfect, holy resurrection. It is the Spirit of that God who is within us. How much power, then, has He in us?! My flesh should not win the battle! Ever! And it wouldn't if I fully relied on the Spirit every moment. The Spirit would give life to my dead, corrupt flesh in every instance if I let Him.

What a revelation! And it's from You, Spirit! Such an interesting dynamic to begin to understand: how the Father, Son, AND Spirit work together. I've under-appreciated the latter until just today. I don't mean to emphasize the person and work of the Spirit in a way that detracts from that of Christ (as warned by James Montgomery Pierce), but rather to acknowledge and give thanks to God for this third person of Himself.

As I thank Jesus for His work, as He abided in the Father, so I thank the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of the Father. Spirit, thank You for interceding on my behalf, for praying for me when I know not what to pray. Thank You for being strength where I am weak; making me abound in hope; convicting me of sin; battling my flesh with fierceness and devotion. Thank You for freedom; for fullness of life; for joy, peace, love, goodness, faithfulness, patience, kindness, self-control. For Your part in making those grow continually. Thank You, Father, for Your Son and Your Spirit.
Amen.

The ministry of the Spirit in our lives:

Ezekiel 36:27
John 14:26, 16:13
Acts 1:8
Romans 5:5
Romans 8:26-27
Romans 15:13
1 Corinthians 12:4-7, 11
Galatians 5:22-23

The Eternal Love brings Joy Eternal

"Either protect me now or take me home, LORD. Whatever pleases You best." words prayed by John Paton as a cannibal followed him around the island with a musket aimed and ready. And Paton went about his chores as if the man wasn't there. "I am invincible until Your purpose for me is complete, Father."

Behind the deli counter we hear the store's background music - quite a lot of 80's soft rock mixed with some fun oldies and a rare song-of-the-moment. Sometimes, with the particularly dramatic songs, we speak the lyrics to each other. Like... George feigns girlish pride and announces to Curtis in Seafood, "I'm beautiful, Curtis, no matter what they say. Words can't bring me down!"

A month ago or so a song came on and I spoke along with the singer, "George, would you fight for my honor?" And my wrestler friend replied, "Amanda, I'd kill for your honor," and then proceeded to perform all sorts of wrestler-moves on an invisible being who apparently made the mistake of threatening my honor.

Last night, driving home from a day of missionary testimony and biography and challenge, I heard our song on the radio, and it struck me altogether seriously.

"I am a man who will fight for your honor...
We'll live forever, knowing together that we did it all for the glory of love..."

Am I a woman who fights for Your honor, LORD? Do I do ALL for the glory of Love, which Thou art?

Make me a fighter, LORD. A warrior-princess. Make me courageous, strong, able to endure and persevere. I know that's a dangerous prayer - asking for things which are not gently nor easily won. But I pray it. Whatever it takes, Father: make me Yours.

Your soldiers are fierce, LORD. Compassionate and gentle, but FIERCE. Not weak or feeble, but like iron because they are Yours and abide in You. They are invincible and immortal until Your purpose for them is complete.

That's who I am! That's who we are as Christians. We have a purpose that You created us for, and we are on this earth solely to complete that purpose.

Make me into Your likeness, Jesus. May I look into the mirror of my heart and see Your face more clearly with each moment.

Such joy! This life is one of "joy inexpressible and full of glory!" Because I abide in You and in Your love, with obedience to Your commands, You make my joy full. To live is Christ... life in Christ is joy eternal. Though it costs everything, it is worth the price.

"The things of this world grow strangely dim in light of His glory and grace..."

Readers, do you know the JOY that abounds when "to live is Christ"? Why do you love being one of God's chosen? What is it about this life in Christ that gives you joy, even on the worst days? Or does it not? Are you wondering where the joy is and how to find it?

Please share your thoughts in comments...

The LORD Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Grace be with you. Amen. (2 Tim 4:22)

The LORD's Day

read this on brother Matthew's blog, and couldn't help but copy and paste. :)

"A sense of the beauty of Christ is the beginning of true Saving Faith in the life of a true convert. This is quite different from any vague feeling that Christ loves him or died for him. These sort of fuzzy feelings can cause a sort of love and joy, because the person feels a gratitude for escaping the punishment of their Sin. In actual fact, these feelings are based on self-love, and not on a love for Christ at all. It is a sad thing that so many people are deluded by this false faith.

On the other hand, a glimpse of the Glory of GOD in the face of Jesus Christ causes in the heart a supreme genuine love for GOD. This is because the divine light shows the excellent loveliness of GOD's nature. A love based on this is far, far above anything coming from self-love, which demons can have as well as men.

The true love of GOD which comes from this sight of His beauty causes a spiritual and holy joy in the Soul; a joy in GOD, and exulting in Him. There is no rejoicing in ourselves, but rather in GOD alone.

The sight of the beauty of divine things will cause true desires after the things of GOD. These desires are different from the longings of demons, which happen because the demons know their doom awaits them, and they wish it could somehow be otherwise.

The desires that come from this sight of Christ's beauty are natural free desires, like a baby desiring milk. Because these desires are so different from their counterfeits, they help to distinguish genuine experiences of GOD's Grace from the false."

...from Jonathan Edwards' sermon: True Grace Distinguished from the Experience of Devils (1752)

How could I NOT want this??

Excerpted from "Living out Trust" by Luke Patin:

It is vital to understand the nature of genuine romance that is justified by truth. This romance absolutely must promote trust.

I admit that I believe God's concern is not that everyone get married. God is concerned with love and unity in the Body as well as the advancement of the Kingdom. With that in mind, if a brother has grown to know and trust a sister in Christ, he may think it useful to offer himself to her as a husband. This is with the awareness that she may refuse him if she thinks it more profitable to continue single. If she accepts, however, then he has offered himself unconditionally. He has a new commitment! The new commitment is one that will make them one flesh. They will continue to serve God together as a unit.

The only reason Paul the Apostle disliked the idea of Christians getting married (1 Cor 7) was the distraction. Romance requires constant attention to preserve the relationship! It must have attention because that is what romance is! It makes two into...one! If two people aren't careful, the many responsibilities to preserve function and romance in marriage can make it impossible to invest in the Body of Christ.

Thus, the whole point is that true romance is meant to give one another trust and security so that God may be the true focus! Otherwise, "focusing on God" just isn't possible in a real way. There is usually just plain too much maintenance.

...[I]n a total commitment, romance becomes powerful to unite in trust rather than confuse in fear. A woman once told me that she had become paranoid of men's romantic intentions with her because they offered nothing to make them worth accepting! They just made her afraid of losing what she had invested in the man. They made her afraid of losing months or years of her life to a man who led her to nowhere. This, brothers, is not love. This, sisters, is not real romance.

Friends, we are capable of loving like God does--without fear. We will fail in our responsibilities, but the nature of love itself cannot be to blame! When carried out simultaneously with truth, love should be perfect! Well-intentioned love ought not destroy people!

[...]

I admit that I think everyone saying, "Take romance slowly. Don't get tied down too quickly," is complete nonsense. Actually, I think that once a man has willed himself to love and secure a woman no matter what [(offered her marriage)] (and she has accepted), then I believe romance should be swift and powerful. It should create a passion and security so complete that it will weld two people into a fully trusting relationship centered around their two greatest commitments--Christ and each other.

They have Christ to gain by being instruments to refine and perfect one another in love and truth. Once the commitment is openly declared--with the accountability which is marriage-- two true lovers can accept the joy of consummation and unity with nothing to lose. Everything physical which we set up "boundaries" for becomes rather only an instrument to strengthen a true bond--to please one another with abandon.

I think romance ought to be an explosion that loudly, possessively declares,

"BY GOD'S GRACE I WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE I AM TO UNITE WITH---EVER!!! I DELIGHT IN YOU, AND YOU ARE SPECIAL TO ME FOR AS LONG AS WE LIVE!!! LET NOTHING STAND IN THE WAY!!! I CHOSE YOU, AND I AM YOURS!!!"

That is a declaration I desire to make. That is a romance that can only make the Christian Army more powerful. Never will I offer a weak, insecure romance to a woman. If I am to offer romance, I will offer it recklessly--limitlessly. She will know she has been chosen. She will know that I have willed to love her. She will know that the perfect love of God has come full circle to create a love untainted by fear.

I will not love her perfectly, but the commitment--the unity--which the love stands on will have been burned into the very fabric of our souls. I will be hers as long as we serve God on this earth. She will know that when I ask her to single me out apart from all other men then I am offering all that I am--permanently. If she sees the power of Christ's love for the Church in me, then she will have nothing to fear--nothing to lose.

She will have found...true love.

Read the entire article

emphasis added by blogger

Today is the 25th Anniversary of my parents' Wedding.

And a ride it's been. Because I don't have their permission, I'm not sharing details. But I will share a tradition of theirs that I only just learned of this evening...

My mom and dad were eighteen and twenty-one when they married. My mom worked at Alexander's bagging groceries, and Dad sold parts at Chappel Tractor. They struggled to get by, to say the least. That was before my brother and I came along (though quickly did we come! haha).

October 10th - that first year later - arrived, and they certainly couldn't afford to buy each other gifts. Any spare earnings went into the house fund. But still Mom and Dad went into CVS and looked at the greeting cards. Silently side by side, they read the messages until each found the perfect one for the other. Standing in the aisle, they exchanged the cards that captured the expression of each of their hearts and read each other's sentiments. I imagine they would smile or laugh gently, perhaps nudge the other shoulder to shoulder. Dad would kiss mom's forehead and she'd tip her face up to kiss his lips. Happy Anniversary. And then they'd put the cards back on the rack and walk out of the store hand in hand.

So they did this afternoon (a day early) after church and brunch at their favorite restaurant. My dad wanted to go to church this morning. It's a cool testimony that I'll write about later. His first run-in with persecution - albeit in jest by his cousin and via telephone. :) But a neat conversation between he, my mom, and brother.

Goodnight, all. The Lord is good. He finishes what He begins without falter or delay. He protects His people and refines them. The learning is tough, quite often, but it is good. He is good.

Back and Forth about being Brother and Sister

A new brother acquaintance wrote:
Interesting yet good ideas that you put in your profile about what to do on a first date. are you saying that things like phone calls, letters, time alone (in a public setting) are out of the question?

I responded:
In regards to the dating thing on my profile... Actually, there is a huge freedom that comes with being brother and sister, I've found. A freedom in trust. I didn't mean to list a set of rules. :) Quite the opposite, with a man whom I know truly seeks only to know me as a sister, I feel a freedom to BE his sister - much as a biological sister may be. Because I know that he's not interpreting anything I do or say as romantic in any way, I don't have to be conscientious of what I may be conveying the whole time. Know what I mean?

It works both ways, too. I'm not getting to know you with any thoughts of wanting to make you like me, or asking, "home, would I like to marry this person?" Nor am I going to interpret your behavior as romantic.

I like your ideas about relationships. But I wonder, how will you ever get beyond brother/sister relationships??? I mean, do you think your going to just wake up some morning married to a wonderful husband? If your never allowed to send any signals, or if your never allowing anyone to send you signals, then you will die a virgin!

One of the great things about bro/sis relationships is that you won't get beyond them unnecessarily. When you submit initial romantic feelings to God, you can continue in simply getting to know the person without all the drama. My experience has been that I meet someone, start getting to know them, have romantic feelings, so begin dating, then realize that we wouldn't be a good partnership for whatever reasons, then break up, and as much as you say you want to stay friends, you usually don't. In the meantime, so much emotional energy and time is wasted in thinking about something that was never meant to be!

If you commit to being brother and sister it has a different outcome. You meet them (or type haha), start getting to know them, romantic feelings probably come (it's a little different if you haven't met, but say you eventually meet and then you have romantic feelings) - here it's different. Instead of acting on those feelings and dating, you submit them to the Lord. It's not that you pretend they're not there, but you don't dwell on them. Realize that that is chemistry, and decide to continue being brother and sister. Loving without thinking romantically about them. And then keep getting to know each other. The romantic feelings will go away as you get to know them ... or they may stay as you get to know them. Either way, the commitment remains to be brother and sister and seek God together.

Do you see how you will be able to know and trust someone so well without the romantic stuff getting in the way? You will be able to love a woman as God loves her: in a way that draws her to Him, not to you. That is love. And if God wills, then He will draw her to you. But by the time you get to the point of God drawing you to each other, you will already know and trust each other so much.

It seems like we forget who God is when it comes to relationships - suddenly, here in this realm of life, we have to take control and make everything happen. But it's just not true. We seek God. We encourage each other in our walks and in our lives - we challenge each other to grow. We truly love by keeping each other focused on Jesus Christ, rather than on our relationship or on each other's feelings. If it is that our lives will best serve God's Kingdom by being united as husband and wife, do you not think He will reveal that clearly?

Reading my own words, I can see how they may make this kind of relationship seem legalistic - or calculated, I guess. But the irony is in the freedom that comes with this. The trust that allows two people to simply KNOW each other! It makes for trusting, meaningful, deep relationships between men and women of God, that bring all parties closer to Him, and most will continue on as brother and sister unto eternity.

But one woman you will get to know deeply, trust deeply, draw ever closer to God with, and realize that your lives can be best used by God as husband and wife. And it's not based on romantic feelings, though they are there strongly, but on the strength in your relationships with God and with each other - you could not love her if you loved not God, and you could not love God if you loved not her. Forever. And she knows the same is true of her love for you. And you will not die virgins! :)

I totally agree, but its hard to its hard, just about impossible to set romantic feelings aside. well, I guess I can think of a few times I have, and Im glad I did. But then there are other times that I wish women would have spoken up instead of trying to just drop hints all the time, or expecting me to figure it out. But ya, in the larger picture romantic feelings aren't worth much.

But I wonder, you say if God wills it then "He will draw her to you". Well, just how might that look? I mean, lets face it, sooner or later someone is going to have to step out and take things a bit further than just bro and sis. But up until that point I totally agree with you.

I wonder why you seem to be so clear on all this? I didn't look at that web site yet. Its almost like reading a book. lol It all sounds good in theory, but Im afraid that is all it is. It would be great if it worked like that all the time. It saddens me that it doesn't.

To set back and think "God will bring me the one at the right time" is crazy. (I wanted to use a stronger word but couldn't spell it) We can pray and pray and pray all we want, but Jesus didn't just say "ask and it will be given to you", He went further. You will notice it is "ask,seek, knock". In just about anything, maybe even everything, we humans must do our part.

Hey, don't get me wrong here, I'm challenging you on this because I'm not clear on it myself, not because I think I am right. I've never been in a romance relationship so I guess I don't really know what it is like.

Here is something else to think about. Your 21, Im 25. When I was 21 I could think like you are, I was waiting for God to act. But, now I'm 25, still living at home, still working the same job I had in high school, still as single as the day I was born, and nothing has really changed all that much. There is a time to pray, a time to wait, and a time to take action. All the prayer, all the waiting will do no good with out action. That applies to everything. In the ministry, in secular work, and in relationships.

Good questions, all. :) I'll respond as best I can. Also wanted to clarify - should have said this before - relationships are unique things, I understand that very well. And I don't expect that my convictions are the only right ones; obviously many godly people have met and dated and married in God's will, enjoying romance before they were engaged. This is simply the perspective God has given me - it suits my needs as He created me, and perhaps the man who will be my husband is the only man who shares it! That would be fine. :) So as you are not trying to change my convictions, I am not trying to change yours, either.

Maybe I should start with one sentence that might answer everything.

the sum (the scenario with the woman who you'll marry):

you get to know each other, without bringing romance into it, to the point that you completely trust each other, know each other's goals and dreams, see that you have the same/complementary major goals (or direction, anyway), see that you can serve together, ministry together makes sense more than ministry apart, you get along and like each other, you know each other's families, you know each other's strengths and weaknesses and you complement each other, your life vision is the same - and makes sense to go together... all these things line up and you know she's the woman God has for you for life. It only makes sense that you be together. And THEN you ask her to be your wife, and her heart is yours to romance.

You save all the other women from being hurt, and you save yourself from being hurt, by NOT acting on feelings until you establish that your union would actually make sense! And you can have friendships that aren't maimed by break-ups because you've put aside the feelings and just gotten to know them - and seen that they aren't the ONE. But they are your sisters, so you can still invest in them as sisters. And the romantic feelings will go away when you know they're not HER. That's not just theory. :)

you said: "it's hard, just about impossible to set romantic feelings aside." agreed. It's also hard to set thoughts of any other strong temptation aside, but we have to or else sin overtakes us. It's not that you can make yourself stop feeling... it's that you CAN choose to not think about the feelings. Not dwell on them. You CAN choose to dwell on other things (Phil 4:8).

"He will draw her to you". Well, just how might that look?

I guess I wasn't clear on this - It's not that you never step out and move forward to pursue her heart. It's that you wait beyond the first feelings and get to really know her. You step out in asking her to be your wife! If this is the woman that you will marry, she will love you AND have romantic feelings for you that won't go away. God will turn her heart to you.

My friend Julie met her now husband and wasn't attracted to him. (That helps in fending off romantic feelings! haha) But as she got to know him, she knew he was the man for her (this is WAY before they were engaged. They dated 3 years! how they waited that long, I don't know.) anyway, she prayed that God would make her love him the way He wanted her to. And of course she did grow to love him romantically - I watched it happen! We were roommates in New York for the first year they dated in person. They had a distance relationship for a year first.

So that's what I mean by "God will draw her to you" - her heart will be drawn to love your heart purely AND romantically if she is to be your wife.

"It all sounds good in theory, but Im afraid that is all it is."

I have one brother who shares this perspective, and it's not just theory. But for sure, it takes both people having a mutual and solid understanding of the whole concept, and being committed to living it. You can't pretend with this. I can't say I'm just your sister, but meanwhile think of you romantically and dream about our future, etc. That would be totally dishonest and unfair to you. I'd be saying one thing so you would trust me, but then thinking totally differently. Not ok.

In order for it to really work - in order for that complete trust and in order to be able to stave off feelings and just be brother and sister, both have to have been convicted by the Spirit and walk the journey in grace. Otherwise it won't hold up. But I HAVE experienced this relationship, and it's amazing. It's FREEDOM! I tried to explain what it's like in the entry on the web site I gave you. With Luke, I did feel more than platonic love for him at first, and submitted it to the Lord. That is surrendered to His control; Truly, Luke is my brother. I don't know how to explain it. It's a very conscious submission. My natural inclination is to want to think of him romantically and ponder what could happen in the future and work out possible scenarios... but no! That's not for me to do. I give those feelings and questions to the Lord and trust that He'll work it all out for good - whatever that entails. And I stop the thoughts there, and dwell on Christ and how I may best encourage my brother to His likeness.

I'm under the impression that you don't want some guy trying to romance you. :o) I did look at that web site you gave me, seemed to be a lot of the same as in your letters.

I do like your perspective, although I have never met anyone who has that perspective. It seems like a cold way of doing it, almost like buying tires for your car. No excitement, no fire crackers, you just one day decide to marry a guy/gal that you have read all the spects on but never really gotten deep with them.

On the practical side, just what would it look like for a couple to follow through on your perspective? How would you go about getting to know a guy you think your interested in?

I have heard of courting, which is my preference, but really, I couldn't care much less about the process as long as it is done in a Godly manner. But, your way will certainly spare broken hearts.

I have not yet responded to the last questions. I'm not sure how to make myself any more clear. I think the best response to this is Luke Patin's final essay that I linked to above. I'll link it again: Living Out Trust.

Brotherly Exhortation from Luke Patin

"Never neglect the hope you have and the gifts you were given to use for the Kingdom. Love must be the definition of who you are, and may that love be a true, humble love."

Luke has written much on the relationship between brother and sister in Christ, and a most recent article is absolutely worth reading: Living Out Trust.